20 Kinky Sex Ideas You Need to Try

“I want to spice up my sex life.”

“I want to try something new.”

“I want to connect with my partner.”

“I just want to have fun.”

You only need one reason to be interested to explore kinky sex ideas. Or maybe you have ideas and don’t know how to voice your interest to your partner.

Here we’ll cover countless kinky sex ideas to bring some novelty into your sex life and help you feel more connected to your sex partner. Before you try any of these with that certain someone, make sure to confirm consent and address any boundaries. There is nothing sexier than being on the same vibe.

First things first, be prepared to talk about sex.

Choose a time and place where you both can be open to talking without distractions. Make sure you’re in a curious and open mindset, without judgment. The point of talking about sex is to learn about what you like, what they like, any preferences or fantasies either of you might be interested in.

Connection is key, so good feelings are going to be your guide. Talk about what boundaries you have, what boundaries they have, anything you guys don’t feel comfortable doing during sex. Have the conversation now and make for a smoother experience during sex. Didn’t know what to expect? Now you do.

Safe words are incredibly important.

They allow for a quick check-in during sex, and keep the lines of communication open between you and your partner. If you’re ever feeling anxious about reading each other’s body language, checking in is a great way to ease those anxieties.

The traffic light system is a common one for the BDSM community. Using the traffic light system as a safe word looks like asking “What color are you?”. Green means “go ahead, I’m enjoying this”. Yellow can mean “I’m approaching my limit” or “let’s slow down or adjust”. Red means “stop” and “I can’t continue”. You can assign physical signals to the color as well, but you and your partner can decide what those cues look like.

The following list covers some kinky sex ideas to indulge in. Feel free to choose what feels comfortable for both of you, or get competitive with it and treat it like a sex bucket list. Find something you like? Bring it up to your partner.

You can say something like, “I’ve been thinking about how we’ve been having sex. How would you feel about (insert kinky idea here)?”

Try it out, and when you find something you like, add it into your rotation of kinky sex activities.

Mentally Kinky

1. Play a sex game (board games, card games, apps)

Sex games exist in the form of board or card games, apps, online, print, and your imagination. You can make one up using board games you already have, or you can download some for free online. Pick a medium and start exploring.

2. Edging

Edging is the act of repeatedly bringing a partner to the brink of orgasm and then stopping right before the release. When you edge someone, you're prolonging the sexual experience, and in a lot of cases making for a more intense orgasm. Edging is also a power play because you have control over when someone is getting to experience said orgasm. The point is to start and then stop right before they cum. Do it again and again and again, as many times as comfortable.

3. Role play

Role play is where you act out a sexual fantasy through an alter ego. This kinky idea is a little more imagination-heavy, so while costumes can help, they are not required. The point of role play is to put yourself in a different headspace without expectations of everyday life. You can explore different power dynamics, or have a fresh start. Awkwardness is normal at first, but with practice comes confidence. Some role play ideas might look like:

• Strangers in a hotel (like that one Modern Family episode)

• Doctor and patient

• Officer and criminal

• Homeowner and trade worker

4. Talk Dirty

Dirty talk can work in any part of sex, from foreplay to during the act itself. Start by describing what you want to do to someone through text or on the phone. In person, you can describe exactly what you are doing as you are doing it. You can ask if they like it, if they want more, what you’ll do next. The dialogue options are endless. Experiment, adapt, overcome.

5. Blindfold one person

Another classic kinky power dynamic is blindfolding. A blindfold doesn’t have to be a blindfold, it can be a t-shirt, a scarf, or a tie. Whatever works. Blindfold one of you, and the other person can get to business. When one person has a blindfold on, they are entirely reliant on their partner to lead.

6. Masturbate Together

Self-explanatory. Get in the mood, watch porn together, or sit across or next to each other while you pleasure yourselves. No touching allowed (unless you can’t take it anymore).

7. Receive (or give) a massage

A head and body massage is a great form of foreplay. It literally takes stress off, and is a great reason to be touching your partner’s body. Massaging can easily turn sexual, especially once you feel “warmed up”. You can use lotion or body oil for a slicker massage. When giving the massage do it with the intent of making your partner feel good. Where you take it after a few moans let loose, is entirely up to you two.

8. Set a date

Some people get nervous at the idea of having spontaneous sex. Or you might not have enough time in the day to have spontaneous sex in the first place. Setting a specific date and time to have sex can be just what you or your partner need to be on the same page. Agree on a time and day and write it on your calendar.

9. Praise and degradation

Dirty talk turned into a power play dynamic. “You’re such a good girl”, or “you’re such a bad little thing”. From praising someone for “doing such a good job” to degrading them right after, you can use different phrasing to flip-flop the dynamic as you wish. Some people might enjoy using or hearing both, others might lean towards one preference. Talk to your partner about what they might enjoy, and go from there.

10. Sexting

This is a good way to set your foot in the dirty talk realm, especially if you’re too nervous to try it out verbally. You can start by texting your partner how you’re feeling horny or what you want to do to them later. If they want to see you naked, you could send a nude. You can do a play-by-play of how you want to touch them, etc. The possibilities are endless.

Physically Kinky

11. Sex in a new location

If you normally have sex in your bedroom, spice things up and try the kitchen. Or the living room. Feeling frisky with the wallet? Book a motel room and have sex there. Sometimes all you need is a change of environment. The world is your oyster - within legalities of course.

12. Try new positions

Maybe you don’t mind doing the same thing over and over, but what if there’s a chance you might enjoy something more? Check out a few good examples of sex positions if you need inspo. Don’t know how to pick? Have your partner choose a random number.

13. Experiment with lube

Some lube is better than no lube. Water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Try one. Try all three. Using Condoms? Water-based and silicone-based are safe to use with condoms. Oil-based breaks down latex and should not be used with condoms (or porous toys!)

14. Try new toys (vibrators, butt plugs, dildos, nipple clamps, handcuffs)

Check out a sex shop by yourself or with your partner. Try it out the same day or save it for when you’re feeling spontaneous. Don’t forget to clean it beforehand. No returns!

15. Get rough (slapping, spanking, scratching, biting, pulling)

Talk to your partner and figure out what you are both okay with trying. Boundaries and consent are key with rough sex. Kinky rough sex should never be harmful or disrespectful to anyone which is why boundaries must be discussed beforehand. Have a predecided safeword and any traffic signal meanings (if using that method).

16. Eat food off of them

Whipped cream, syrups, and honey are popular choices due to the suckable nature of those foods. Be careful when using foods near the genitals. Take caution with regards to the genitals, especially when incorporating food. The genital area, especially near the urinary tract, is a sensitive environment. Some foods can cause a reaction if you’re not careful. Close alternatives are flavored lube, edible underwear, and flavored condoms.

17. Play with their nipples

Not everyone is aware that playing with nipples is an option. When you take into account nipples, you get two additional areas to stimulate during sex. That’s a lot more options than before. From light touching to pinching, start slow and gentle before adding more stimulation. Maybe down the line some nipple clamps might be in order.

18. Redo a sex scene from porn

Got a favorite porn scene? Or maybe you want a new sex position setlist? Find a scene you want to try and then execute it with your partner. This takes the pressure off of trying to come up with what to do and when to do it.

19. Bondage

Bondage involves tying up and restraining. Basic restraints can look like handcuffs (fuzzy or not), scarves, literally anything that can be used to tie someone up. You can be tied to furniture or tie yourself alone. If you’re feeling more complex and are comfortable, Shibari is something you could explore. Shibari is a Japanese form of bondage, known for its aesthetic and emotional appeal. Regardless of your skill level, there are local workshops or online guides for all types of bondage.

20. Temperature Play

Also known as sensory play, this kinky sex idea involves using a variation of temperatures for stimulation. Make sure what you’re using is safe, especially when it comes to hotter items. You don’t want to burn or cause any skin irritation during temperature play. Some examples of temperature play:

• Using ice cubes in the mouth or on the body

• Drinking something hot to warm the mouth before oral

• Massage candles

• Warming or cooling lube

Now that you’re armed and ready with an arsenal of kinky sex ideas, the future awaits you. As always, consent and communication are key. Talk to your partner about anything that piques an interest and you may find out something new about yourselves. Ask questions and be open to receiving feedback, before and/or after the act. Have fun!