You know those toys you try out thinking, “Let’s just see what all the fuss is about…” and then suddenly, you’re three sessions deep, talking to your friends like you’ve discovered enlightenment? That was me with Insomnia. 😅 I didn’t go in as a Riley Reid fan, I wasn’t even sure a mouth sleeve would do it for me. And now, this thing’s practically glued to my nightstand. The lips, the tongue, that sneaky little squeeze in chamber 2, it’s like someone reverse-engineered the feeling of a blowjob and said, “Let’s make this a toy.” It doesn’t go hard just for the sake of it. It builds. It paces. And somehow, it captures that slow, teasing, ridiculously hot kind of pleasure I didn’t even realize I was craving. I’ve used it fast, slow, in every direction (don’t flip it tho 😬), and it just gets me. Insomnia is the kind of toy that sneaks into your top shelf and refuses to leave. And honestly, I’m not complaining. If you’ve ever wished a Fleshlight could just feel like a BJ, this one’s not trying to simulate it. She is it. If you're still here you might already be halfway sold. 😉

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There's a Snake in my Puss! Don't worry, CalExotics' Charmer doesn't bite, and the only thing lethal about it is the pleasure it provides ;P. This stimulating toy will slither into your pants and charm you with ease with its dual-ended, firmly flexible body and 10 increasing intensity vibrations. Slumber lasts 2.5hrs, play lasts 35-90mins and charging is done with a 3.5mm jack style charger. Though no IPX rating is provided, all literature claims this little rattler is waterproof so be wary of this water snake entering your bath. Another exciting feature is its memory retention so play can be resumed at any point. I've gone from a Gryffindor to a Slytherin in a matter of a toy lol. Not entirely true, Malfoy can stuff it, but this toy can Slyther-in to my Chamber of Secrets any day ;P. The vibes range from beginner to advanced; the ribbed rattle feels nice inside and out; and the flex stays firm in place during all sorts of play. The dual-headed design aspect is a bit conflicting... Though the vibes are equal in both heads, the fact that the power button is on the snake head defeats the dual purpose as now it's no longer operable unless removed, pressed and reinserted and I'm not a fan of that ><". I can see it being disappointing to other users but I'll say the 35 min run time on high is not a disappointment as I can do sensual and/or speedy in under that and roll on with my day lol.

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Dame's Dip is designed by women, for women in order to ensure that the most intimate needs are met. The almost scoop-like design of the tip allows it to curl perfectly around or pinpoint poke the clit for external pleasure; curl inside and perfectly press against the G-Spot; or just glide in and bring penetrative pleasure. It has 5 intensity levels, the first of which is a very comfortable setting (intense but too much) while the others only grow in fervor; it's a step up for beginners that feel they're ready for a bit of oomf and a reliable go to for more experienced users. It has a use time of 1.5hrs on its highest setting, a charge time of 2hrs, and is charged by an everyday USB-C charger making it easy to charge anytime or any where you'd probably have your phone and charger with you as well lol. To operate hold the button to power on/off and press it to continuously cycle through the settings. The Dip also features a travel lock that's activated by holding the button for 10secs or until the LED quits blinking altogether or blinks red, and it's only deactivated by plugging it into the charger. There's no official IPX rating anywhere, but all literature regarding it claims it's waterproof so it's highly likely that it's safe for bath time use. The Dip is a toy I'd go back to again and again because of its intensity, shape, and ease of use. The beginning intensity is definitely enough to get the job done and then some, and I love that the rest of the settings are all just a step up in the intensity instead of patterns I'm more than likely not going to use. I hate that it doesn't come with a pouch,

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This toy feels great, and considering it's frequently on deep sales it could be worth it for an entry level auto-stroker. At retail price though it's hard to recommend when the Handy is likely a better option and not that much more expensive.

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Let’s be real – when a pornstar like Mia Malkova gets a Fleshlight, we have to try it. There’s just something about the combo of iconic lips, cult status, and that wild “tentacle-core” texture that pulls you in 🐙✨ And LVL Up delivers exactly that: a wild ride, especially if you're into intense, non-stop stimulation from the first stroke. We loved the look, appreciated the realism of the molding, and even enjoyed the ride – up to a point. It’s not a sleeve for edging, slow build-ups, or gentle sessions. It’s more of a “hold on and try not to finish in 3 minutes” kind of toy, and honestly? That’s sometimes exactly what you want. So, is Mia’s Fleshlight a legendary level-up or just another name on the shelf? We’ll say this: she earned her spot, but maybe not on every session. Curious how the tentacle texture actually feels and if this thing can live up to the hype? Read on for the full deep dive – with all the messy, lubed-up details 👀💦

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This bondage frame is an absolute steal for the price—around $300 from AliExpress, shipped. It's solid, heavy-duty, and endlessly customisable. Out of the box, the default setup leaves a lot to be desired (and possibly dislocated), but treat it like BDSM LEGO and it becomes a pervert’s dream project. Whether you’re into strict restraint, kinky engineering, or mounting a fucking machine like a mad scientist, this "slave frame" delivers serious value and versatility.

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The Palm Power Massager was my first ever experience with a corded vibrator. Right off the bat, it felt very retro. It reminded me of an early episode of Sex and the City where Samantha was looking for a replacement “neck massager.” The Palm Power Massager screams 90s. Getting to the point: my verdict on this toy is “meh.” The packaging and toy are entirely made of plastic, which just feels cheap and wasteful. The toy itself packs some serious power, and not having to charge it is nice. It seems to have no limit on how powerful the vibrations can be, and with the ABS plastic coating, they’re rumbly. But it’s hard to shake the feeling that this is an early, low-tech, poor-quality model of a wand. And I can’t help but wonder, why not just buy a better, rechargeable wand?

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The Lelo Sona 3 Cruise Sonic Clitoral Massager is chef's kiss, and will make you a masturbation addict. For all the cum gremlins out there, you NEED this toy in your collection, it is a total game changer. This toy is made to last, and is a great investment for your pleasure. I never understood the hype around expensive sex toys, but I have converted, and now see why the sex toy industry is so lucrative. Touching yourself with this toy is fucking fantastic, but don't take my word for it, give the ol' girl a spin and let me know what you think.

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