How to be a Healthy Hoe Not an STD Ridden One

You know what never changes with age, your ability to contract an STD during sex. Once I read a study that said, the age group with the highest rate of STDs was among senior citizens and teenagers. So if the threat of an itchy coochie or an oozing green penis is always on the table wouldn’t it be best to be educated on the topic.

Let’s talk about what STDs are, and how to try your best to avoid them. Because we all deserved to be fucked silly, but there are some precautions that must be yielded in order to keep your kitty from crying.

To condom or not to condom is the age old question

As a sucker (literally) for raw dick, I will say that sometimes condoms really aren’t my ideal vibe. That being said, I’m in a monogamous relationship, and we make sure to get tested every year. While it still can be a bit of a gamble, I like my meat rare, not well done wrapped in plastic. But here comes the kicker… you are way more likely to get an STD if you don’t use a condom. This may be especially relevant information if you’re a serial gang banger.

The joys of being a hoe are being able to fuck at your convenience without having to worry about relationships and the side effects of love. So, if a condom isn’t your cup of tea, consider getting vaccinated against certain STDs like HPV and Hepatitis.

Oh shit the condom broke and I’m not vaccinated, is my kitty going to be a little fishy?

Yes and no, it all depends on who you’re sleeping with and how hygienic y'all are because genital warts are no joke. Hopefully that graphic imagery will cement the overarching theme of this article: STDs are icky and really not a fun thing to have. While it is totally ok to get them sometimes, they will bring an unpleasant aftertaste to intimate time. You also shouldn’t be having sex if you know that you have an active STD, so it kind of negates the point of living a carefree hoe bent life. Here are a few recommendations that will help to keep you as safe and healthy during your dirtiest horn dog moments:

• Abstinence (yawnnnnn boring).

• Get tested with your partner.

• Consider a dental dam (vintage slay).

• Have a SQUEAKY CLEAN bootyhole if you're going through the backdoor.

• Avoid sharing lingerie and razors with others.

• If you know you're more likely to get an STD because you're a human who likes to go fuck wild, consider taking a preventive medication like Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP).

Does it really matter?

Even if you take all these precautions there is still a small chance that you will contract an STD, but guess what, that's the rush of being alive. STDs can be deadly so be careful who you share intimate moments with, but at some point we're all going to die anyway. So get your sex on and pound that pussy until it takes its last breath. STDs are like those funny reminders that we are all mortal, and no matter how powerful your 9" cock is, it can be slain with a brute concoction of cupid's itch.

As far as next steps go, it may be best to sit down with your partner(s) and talk to them about their sexual history and the last time they got tested. If you decide to seek medical attention and find that you do have an STD, contact your previous partners to let them know the results. This is essential so they know to get tested as they may have contracted something from you.

When does a doctor need to get involved?

While it is optimal to get tested regularly, here are some additional signs of discomfort that a doctor may be able to help with:

• Unusual discharge

• Burning sensation while peeing

• Discomfort during sex

• Sores and bumps

• Suspected exposure

A doctor will be your biggest resource when it comes to getting up-to-date information about STDs, their spreadability, and what medications will work best with your body. At the end of the day, it's important to take care of yourself which can often involve the dichotomy of free-spirit sex and collaboration with medical experts. Go have your sexcapades, but do it safely!