How to Pleasure a Woman (Lesbians You Got This…This is More for Men lol)
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How to pleasure a woman isn’t rocket science, but unsurprisingly sex has had a history of centering around the male experience. Often hyper focusing on a male’s climax in heterosexual relationships. Sex is over when he cums right? Wrong.
According to an article by ABC news, roughly 75% of women struggle to reach an orgasm from penetrative sex. Meaning that, pleasuring a woman is not merely a one stop pump and chump moment. Sex toys, hands, tongue, shallow penetration and an eagerness to please can culminate into a mind blowing experience for a woman.
Even more glaring is the orgasm gap itself: according to Katie Kindelan at ABC News, women are having significantly fewer orgasms than men, with rates as high as 95% for men compared to just 65% for women. This exemplifies society's skewed prioritization of male pleasure over female pleasure.
So let's see what's contributing to this disparity, and what needs to happen for you to say "ooooohhhh" instead of "oh?" Because as a man, you shoulder as much responsibility as she does when it comes to shared pleasure.
You Aren’t Using Sex Toys Correctly
Sex toys are one of those things that can be used whenever the moment warrants it. Whether that be before sex, during penetration, or even after. Choosing the right toy is crucial for the female pleasure experience, and even more paramount is the technique that you use.
DO NOT grab a toy and start jamming it places it doesn't belong. Before even reaching for a sex toy, make sure your partner is adequately aroused, and the area in which you are placing the toy is properly lubricated. Whether that be from natural pussy wetness or artificial lube, the area must be wet. If not, rubbing a buzzing toy against the clit will make it feel like carpet burn, and you will not be asked to enter the castle again.
Be a gentle knight, and coax the toy toward the clit on a low setting. As you make your way to that gorgeous bundle of nerves be mindful of the motion and pace you set with the toy. Some ladies like a nice circular movement which can be done with a bullet vibe or a clit sucker. After doing a circular motion, a light tapping at the top of the clit can be a devious way to get that pussy drenched and ready for some heavier play.
At this point you can adjust the pressure and intensity of the toy. Try an up and down combo where you tease the clit and work your way toward the slit. Experiment with your partner's sensitivity levels by pressing down harder in some areas, and having a light touch for other parts.
This is where your toy choice becomes important, if you are using a rabbit vibrator or dildo, you can ease the toy into the opening of the vagina, but if you're using a clit sucker you're going to want to use the toy for pinpointed stimulation only on the clitoris. For beginners, using a bullet vibe, is a good option because you get the best of both worlds.
Make sure to not leave the toy in one area too long because your partner may go numb from the buzzy sensations which negates the whole purpose of providing pleasurable stimulation. Smaller toys can be great to hold close to the body on the clit during penetrative sex, but some people can be overwhelmed by the dual stimulation, so make sure you are continuously talking to your partner about how it feels for them.
Busy Hands: Clit and G-Spot Enthusiasts
Did you know that hands and sex toys are a perfect combo? You can use one hand for exploration while the other is focused on holding the toy. This may be too advanced, so there's no shame in putting down the toy, and finding those erogenous zones with your hands. I know immediately you'll probably think "me want grab boobies now." Hold your horses cowboy. Squeezing a boob is great, and can be a fun little side quest. But the main event is between her thighs.
Put one finger between her folds as you rub that clit and use your other hand/fingers to finger the pussy. Do a come hither motion as it will stimulate the G-spot. If your girl is a squirter, get ready for the water works.
Eat That Box Like Your Life Depends on It
Cunnilingus, also known as pussy eating, is what you should resort to if you really want to put a ring on it before some other dick comes to steal the show. Eating box is an art form, requiring an acquired taste for pussy meat, paired with stamina. I'm talking marathon level sucking sessions. Toys can often get a woman to climax, without expending too much effort. But those who go the extra mile and eat pussy are what separate the strong from the weak.
Have her sit on your face, and position your tongue at the base of her vulva. Use your tongue to stroke the vagina from the bottom to the top where the clit rests. If you slip a tongue in her hole, I don't think anyone will be complaining 😏. If you really want to pleasure your woman, get your lips wet and suck on the clit in a slow rhythm which will get her overflowing with cream.
While you're sucking on that heavenly nectar, make sure to not forget about your hands. This is a time when grabbing a boobie would be appropriate. Or even grasping her hips and thighs as you plunge your lips deeper into her can be a sexy move too. Show her just how much you want it.
Just the Tip Please
Shallow penetration is the unspoken hero of female pleasure. This is one of those things that you can't knock before you try. A woman loves a good tease, and the best tease that you could give her is the head of your penis. It is foreshadowing just how yummy it will feel when you unleash yourself onto her. There are so many sensitive zones around the entryway of the vagina, and really focusing on this can be the catalyst for your success in the bedroom.
The one difficult thing about just sticking the tip in is the potential loss of control, because playing at the edge of her hole may be more pleasurable than actually filling her completely. Meaning that going straight to fucking may not be the move. This is where communication is key, because like I've said, the key to pleasuring a woman is not universal. Look for those nonverbal cues and use that as a barometer for what her hot zones are.
Lets's say her eyes roll back in ecstasy when you rub her clit and stick the head of your dick in her hole. This is a sign that it feels good, and you can try different rhythms and movement patterns to see what elicits the biggest reaction. Your pleasure is her pleasure.
Enthusiasm is Everything
Show how excited you are to bring her over the edge. It's not a good sign if she is always asking you to eat her out, or asking you for more foreplay. This means that you aren't intuitively taking into account her needs, wants, and desires. Take initiative and ask if you can eat her box because you're hungry for it. Not because you have to, but because you genuinely want to bring pleasure to her.
If she's getting your dick ready for penetration by giving you head, the least you can do is get her ready as well with the aforementioned techniques. When it comes to sex, it is important that you're both feeling taken care of and properly prepped for a dicking down. Reading this is a great step to becoming more aware of the nuances that come with giving and receiving sexual pleasure.
For more insight on curating your ultimate pleasure experience, check out ToyChats.com.
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