No, Scissoring Isn’t Mandatory: Lesbian Sex Myths Debunked

Let’s be clear—porn in general isn’t exactly a reflection of real-life sex. Still, some people treat it like gospel and assume what they see on screen reflects actual intimacy.

If that sounds like you, don’t worry—I’ve got you covered.

Here are three common myths lesbian porn has created that seriously need to be debunked.

Myth 1: “Lesbian sex isn’t real sex.”

If you think sex only counts when there’s a penis involved, it’s time to update your syllabus. Lesbian sex can include oral, hands, toys, mutual pleasure, and everything in between. If everyone involved is satisfied, it very much counts.

Sometimes it’s sweet. Sometimes it’s rough. Sometimes it’s both in one night. People have different preferences, and they change with mood and vibes.

Myth 2: “Scissoring is the main event.”

Thank you, porn, for turning one position into a widespread expectation. Scissoring is just one of many positions you can try.

Tribbing isn’t a widely known term, but it simply refers to rubbing your genitals against your partner’s. That’s it. Anytime you’re grinding, humping, or scissoring with your partner, you’re tribbing.

It’s not the go-to for everyone—and it’s rarely as graceful as porn makes it look. Less gymnastic routine, more exploration with each other's body. 

Not into scissoring? Toys can be fun! But lesbian sex doesn’t require a drawer full of gadgets. Many couples enjoy toyless intimacy, while others love incorporating tools of the trade. It’s about preference, not equipment.

Myth 3: “We all fit into either butch or femme.”

Not every lesbian identifies as butch or femme—contrary to porn sites. Some people may fall somewhere in between, switch between styles, or reject labels altogether. 

Porn sites use these terms to determine who is “dominant” or “submissive” during sex. Whether someone enjoys giving or receiving, being soft or rough, using toys or not, has nothing to do with how they dress or identify.

So don’t fall into the trap of thinking there are only two “types” of lesbians.

Spoiler: Lesbian Sex Isn’t What Porn Says It Is 

Just like any other kind of sex, it varies from person to person and relationship to relationship. Everyone brings their own preferences and skills to the bedroom, but the goal is the same: pleasure.

A lot of what you see on sites like Pornhub reflects the straight, cisgender men fantasy of lesbian sex—not the reality. 

But how much of any porn is realistic anyway? Whether it’s straight, gay, or lesbian, porn tends to exaggerate and present idealized, scripted scenarios that often don’t reflect real intimacy.

So don’t believe everything you see. It’s okay to enjoy porn as entertainment, just remember it’s not a manual or a mirror of real-life lesbian sex. Toss out the myths and embrace the truth: real sex is diverse, personal, and doesn’t need to fit any one script.

Want to learn more about other lifestyles and terms? Head over to the ToyChats blog—we promise you’ll find something new to explore!