The ABC’s of Sex: A Guide to the Basics and Beyond

by: Viviana Bustamante

Welcome to Sex Ed 2.0. Whether you’re curious, casual, or committed, the ABC’s of Sex offer a playful way to talk about pleasure, intimacy, and everything in between. Ready? Let's spell it out...

A is for Arousal. It all starts here. From slow kisses to spicy sexts to shared fantasies, it’s the build-up that makes the bang worthwhile.

B is for Boundaries. Sexy time isn’t sexy unless everyone feels safe. Create rules to protect yourself and enjoy others.

C is for Constant Want better sex? Talk about it. Seriously.

D is for Desire. Desire isn’t just wanting — it’s longing. It's that spark, that ache, that magnetic pull toward someone (or something).

E is for Exploration. Your body is a wonderland, and so is your imagination. Sex is an evolving map of curiosity. Toys, positions, fantasies, kinks — try them, tweak them, have fun!!!

F is for Fantasy. We all have them. From playful to wild to weirdly specific, have some fun.

G is for Gender. Our identities shape how we show up sexually. Embracing your gender (or exploring it) can unlock confidence and pleasure.

H is for Health. Let’s keep it real — pleasure is better when you feel good. Regular STI testing, honest convos with partners, and even pelvic floor care? That’s sexual wellness.

I is for Intimacy. Sex is one kind of intimacy — but it’s not the only kind. Eye contact, laughter, vulnerability, and aftercare can be just as sexy as the act itself.

J is for Joy. Let’s not forget: sex is supposed to be fun. Silly moments, clumsy kisses, laughter mid-thrust — joy makes pleasure real.

K is for Kink Anything outside the vanilla box. Think BDSM, roleplay, power dynamics, sensation play, and everything in between. It’s not “weird,” it’s your version of fun.

L is for Lube It enhances pleasure, reduces friction, and makes everything smoother — literally. Bodies don’t always self-lubricate on cue, and that’s totally fine.

M is for Masturbation the OG self-care.

N is for NSFW Have fun, but have a work-life balance.

O is for Orgasm Beautiful, complex, not always the end goal. Orgasms are great — but sex doesn’t need one to be valid or satisfying.

P is for Porn Porn can be entertaining, educational, or just plain hot — as long as it's ethical and mindful.

Q is for Queerness. Sexuality and gender exist on a spectrum. Queerness embraces the fluid, the non-binary, the diverse expressions of love and desire. There’s no one “right” way to be sexual — only your way.

R is for Respect. Hot sex starts with respect — for yourself, your body, and your partners.

S is for Safety. STI testing, contraception, boundaries, emotional wellness — safety is what allows pleasure to flourish.

T is for Toys Vibrators, plugs, rings, wands, sleeves — toys aren’t just for solo play.

U is for Understanding. Understanding your partner’s body, boundaries, and emotional needs? That’s elite. Sex gets way better when curiosity replaces assumptions.

V is for Vulnerability. Real intimacy requires openness. Admitting fears, asking for what you want, letting someone see you — that’s sexy AF.

W is for Whimsy. Don’t take sex too seriously. Laugh. Play. Get weird. Try costumes, accents, hotel room alter egos — whatever makes you feel free.

X is for eXperimentation. Don’t let the “rules” box you in. Try new positions, talk about fantasies, swap roles — curiosity is sexy.

Y is for Yes. “Yes” should be enthusiastic, informed, and ongoing. Not “ugh, fine.” Not silence. A full-bodied, consensual, “YES, please.”

Z is for After-Zzz. You did the deed. Now what? Cuddle, debrief, hydrate, nap. Aftercare isn’t just for kink — it’s for everyone.

I hope you learned something today. Use this lesson wisely.