Want to drive a man wild in bed? While every guy has his own preferences, there are some universal desires that most men share. This guide cuts through the bullshit and reveals what guys actually crave between the sheets, and it’s probably not what you think.

Enthusiasm

This is the number one thing guys want which is your genuine enthusiasm. Nothing beats a partner who’s fully present and clearly enjoying themselves. Men want to feel wanted, and your excitement about being with him is the biggest aphrodisiac there is.

Don’t fake it, show you're really enjoying it. Actively participate in the act and initiating sex sometimes can be a real turn on. Express your pleasure through sounds and movement. Most guys would take an enthusiastic partner with basic skills over a technically perfect but mentally absent one.

Confidence

Confidence is one of the sexiest traits in a partner. You don’t have to be perfect, you can simply be comfortable in your own skin, and not constantly need reassurance. Show your confidence by undressing without hiding, ask for what you want, and own your desires without shame. A confident partner knows what they like and isn’t afraid to show it.

Keep eye contact during intimate moments and express what you want clearly. These show that you’re a secure and engaged partner who knows what they’re doing.

Taking the Lead, Sometimes

Most men are used to being the ones initiating sex. When you initiate, it can be refreshing and deeply validating. It tells him you desire him just as much as he desires you. Don’t be subtle about it, either. Men can be terrible at taking hints.

Whisper something explicitly sexual in his ear, guide his hand where you want it, or straddle him on the couch. Even guys who prefer to take charge during sex love when their partner kicks things off. It takes away the pressure of always being responsible for getting things started and shows that you’re not just going along with the sex, you actively want it.

Make Some Noise

Men are visual creatures, but they love sound too. Your moans, gasps, and words of encouragement are major turn-ons and show him that what he’s doing feels good. Don’t fake it because authentic reactions are always best. If you’re naturally quiet, push yourself to be more vocal. Tell him when something feels amazing, and get loud when the pleasure intensifies.

Most guys love dirty talk. It can be as simple as “that feels so good,” explicit descriptions of what you want to do to him or what you want him to do to you. Start where you’re comfortable, but don’t be afraid to get filthy.

Variety and Spontaneity

Predictability kills excitement in the bedroom. Most guys want variety in order to stay fully engaged. No need to create elaborate scenarios every time. Even the small changes can create a huge difference. You can switch up locations, positions, timing, toys, and outfits. The possibilities of new scenarios are endless here. You just have to be creative, and of course, talk to your partner about it. Men are hardwired to respond to novelty, so use that biology to your advantage.

Physical Praise

Men rarely get compliments about their physical appearance, so this can be a really powerful move in your arsenal. Tell him specifically what you find hot about his body. Make him feel desired and sexy. And show him, too! Run your hands over the parts of his body you like, grip his biceps during passionate moments, or press against his chest.

Explore his lesser-appreciated erogenous zones. Many guys are sensitive around their neck, earlobes, inner thighs, and nipples. Pay attention to these areas and show you’re interested in his whole body, not just his dick.

Feedback

Most guys want to please their partners, but they aren’t mind readers. Clear, specific guidance about what you like helps him get you off effectively. Instead of “not like that”, say “I love it when you touch me like this” while you guide his hand. You can also give him positive reinforcement: “That feels amazing” or “Right there, just like that” lets him know he’s on the right track.

Visual Stimulation

Remember what we said about men being visual creatures? Well, it’s a biological thing. They need to see what’s happening during sex to fully get off. So, get into positions that allow him to watch. When you’re undressing, do it slowly so he can watch.

Creating this visual experience for him will greatly enhance his pleasure. You don’t need to do porn star moves that make you self-conscious. You can balance what excites him visually and what makes you feel confident.

Open-Mindedness

Almost all guys have sexual fantasies they rarely share, usually because they’re afraid of being judged. Create an environment where he can tell you his desires without shame or ridicule. No need to fulfill his every fantasy, but just be open to hearing what turns him on mentally and find the area where your desires overlap. Even talking about fantasies can be hot, whether or not you ever act on them.

Aftercare

It’s a myth that men only want sex and then fall asleep. Many guys crave connection after orgasm. Cuddling, talking softly, or simply lying together creates a powerful bonding. Ask him what kind of aftercare he likes. Some want quiet closeness while others prefer light conversation.

If he puts effort into your pleasure then you should acknowledge it. He’ll invest more in your pleasure when he knows you recognize and value his efforts.

Respect His Boundaries

Guys can have their boundaries, too. Some might not be comfortable with certain positions, acts, or types of touch, and that’s okay. Give him the space to express his limits without fear of ridicule. Check in when trying something new. Despite stereotypes, men aren’t always ready for anything sexual at any time.

Final Thoughts

Specific techniques can only go so far. What men ultimately love in bed is to feel desired, respected, and competent as lovers. The physical aspects are important, but feeling wanted and capable matters more.

Want to know exactly what your guy loves? Ask him directly and skip the guessing games. Tell him what you want because that will help guide his actions. These straightforward conversations might feel awkward at first, but they lead to better sex for both of you.

Great sex comes down to two people who are focused on pleasure—both giving and receiving it. Drop the performance anxiety and focus on what gets both of you off. When you communicate clearly and prioritize mutual satisfaction, you'll have hotter sex, stronger orgasms, and a hell of a lot more fun in bed.