Most guys are walking around completely clueless about what turns women on and how to turn on a woman properly. Your girlfriend is probably faking it, your dates go nowhere, and you're sitting there wondering what's wrong with you.

Women talk about this stuff constantly, and these female turn-ons aren't what you think. Based on those conversations, most of you are doing it totally wrong. So let me save you some trouble and tell you what actually works instead of whatever garbage you learned from porn.

You Think Women Work Like You

Big mistake. The female sexual response isn't like yours at all. You see something hot, you're ready to go. Women? Our brains need to get involved first. The psychology of female arousal starts upstairs, not downstairs. Women need to feel secure and safe with you first. The female sexual response requires emotional safety before physical arousal can happen.

Text her something dirty during lunch. Give her that look across a crowded room that says you want to tear her clothes off later. Build anticipation all day long. That mental buildup does more work than your hands ever will. Most guys skip this completely and then wonder why she's not wet when they start touching her. Creating anticipation isn't rocket science - just show her you're thinking about her sexually when you're apart. But somehow half of you miss this and act confused when she's not immediately ready.

What Actually Works in Bed

Let me tell you what women actually want instead of what you think we want.

Oral that doesn't suck - Way too many guys are terrible at cunnilingus techniques. Focus on clitoral stimulation, find a rhythm that makes her respond, and don't change it when she's getting close. Most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. If you can't figure this out, you're not ready for sex. Stop trying to spell the alphabet with your tongue or whatever stupid advice you read online. Find what works and stick with it.

Using your hands right - Fingering her isn't about jamming your fingers in there like you're trying to start a car. Start slow, use lube even if she seems wet, and pay attention to what makes her moan. Some women want firm pressure, others want barely-there touches.

Vaginal stimulation takes finesse, not force. Try different angles, different pressures, different rhythms. Combine it with oral if you want to blow her mind.

Penetration that feels amazing - Slow penetration actually feels better because it builds anticipation and gives her body time to adjust. Some women love deep penetration, others prefer different angles that hit different spots.

Stop trying crazy positions you saw in porn just to show off. Trying new positions should be about finding what works for her body, not proving you're flexible.

Getting more adventurous - Some are into anal play for women, some aren't. Talk about it first. Don't surprise her with it. Same with gentle spanking or role play in bed. Some women love rimming if both people are clean and comfortable. Communication first, experimentation second. When she's feeling adventurous, that's when you can explore new things together.

Sex Worth Having

Good sex isn't just about technique - it's about creating experiences that feel incredible.

• Timing matters - Sometimes quickies are perfect when you're both horny and have ten minutes. Sometimes you want marathon sex where you take hours exploring each other. Long sex sessions and tantric sex for women focus on building energy slowly rather than rushing to the finish line.

• The best sex happens when you take your time. Sensual slow sex where you build intensity gradually beats jackhammering for five minutes.

• Keep it interesting - Spontaneous sex breaks routine and creates excitement. Even changing locations from the bedroom to the couch makes it feel different. Shower sex ideas can be fun, just don't slip and kill yourselves.

• Actually connect - Eye contact during sex makes everything more intense. Eye contact during intimacy shows you're present instead of going through the motions. That emotional connection makes sex memorable instead of mechanical. Cuddling afterward maintains that intimacy and shows sex isn't just about getting off.

The Stuff Outside the Bedroom

You can't be a mess in daily life and expect enthusiasm in bed.

Good hygiene should be obvious but apparently isn't. Cleanliness, basic grooming habits, smelling good without bathing in cologne. Having a fresh and clean scent beats whatever Axe body spray you think is working.

Being handy is surprisingly sexy. Fix stuff around the house, show some competence. Cooking skills matter because they prove you can take care of yourself. Helping with chores and doing housework without being asked shows you're a partner, not another kid to manage. Kindness is huge. Women notice how you treat servers, cashiers, people who can't do anything for you. Thoughtfulness in considering other people's feelings. A sense of humor that doesn't involve putting people down. Self-assurance without being an arrogant prick. Basic chivalry and being a gentleman.

Being a supportive partner instead of competing with her goals or dismissing them. Good communication skills that let you handle disagreements without throwing tantrums. Intellectual stimulation through deep conversations about meaningful topics, not just surface-level chat. Playful banter and playful teasing that makes her laugh. When women feel understood and know you're being genuine, they want to be close to you.

Building Desire All Day

The best guys understand that turning women on starts way before bedroom time.

Flirting throughout the day keeps things interesting. Grab her ass when she's cooking dinner. Whisper something dirty in her ear when you're out with friends, or whispering in her ear something sweet during quiet moments. Soft touches, light touches, lingering touches that make her think about later. Hand-holding creates intimacy even in simple moments.

Neck kisses while she's doing something else. Hair play while you're watching TV. Running fingers through her hair is both relaxing and sexual. Even earlobe nibbling hits nerve endings that connect to arousal.

When you move to more intimate touching, breast caressing should be gentle and varied, not honking like a car horn. Kissing breasts and nipple stimulation can be really sensitive, so start gentle. Stomach kissing is surprisingly intimate and most guys skip it.

Body grinding during making out builds friction and anticipation. Thigh riding lets her control the pressure and rhythm. Build arousal gradually instead of jumping straight to penetration.

What Makes Women Want You

What women find sexy are guys who make us feel good about ourselves. Has nothing to do with your looks or bank account.

Women need to feel secure with you. Reliability means doing what you say you'll do. Trustworthiness means we can be vulnerable without worrying you'll use it against us. When there's stability in a relationship, we can relax and get turned on instead of worrying about whether you'll disappear.

Making women feel special matters. Show appreciation for who we are as people, not just our bodies. Genuine compliments about our intelligence, humor, and talents. When we're feeling seen and feeling respected, we want intimacy. Make us feel wanted and feeling desired so we know you choose us specifically.

Romantic gestures don't have to cost money. Romantic dates planned around things we actually enjoy, not just what you want to do. Thoughtful gifts that show you pay attention to our interests. Sweet gestures like bringing us our favorite coffee. Flowers for women who like them (not all of us do). Surprise dates that show you're putting effort into keeping things interesting. Having shared activities and common interests gives you things to bond over.

Make women feel empowered, feeling understood, and feeling respected. When we associate you with feeling good about ourselves, we want to be around you more - including naked.

Setting the Mood

Details matter way more than you think. Sensual music creates an atmosphere without being distracting. Good lighting that's flattering makes everyone feel more confident. Have massage oil available for scalp massage, back massage, or full body massage sessions. Keep the room comfortable. Have towels nearby for cleanup. This shows you're thinking about the whole experience, not just getting off.

What Women Actually Want

Women want to feel chosen and valued by someone who actually cares about our pleasure. It's not about memorizing techniques or following scripts - it's about paying attention to the specific woman you're with and genuinely caring about making her feel incredible. Every woman is different. What drives one woman crazy might do nothing for another. But the foundation is universal: emotional connection, genuine care, paying attention to our responses, and making consistent effort to make us feel amazing.

Stop trying some porn star fantasy and start being present with whoever you're actually with. These foreplay tips work because they focus on her specific responses. Ask what she likes. Pay attention to what makes her respond. Show her that her pleasure matters to you.

And seriously, stop learning about women from porn. That garbage is made for male fantasies, not female pleasure. Talk to actual women instead.