Our Erotic Journey Scorpio Zodiac Vibe Review: SO damn cute but DIDN'T get me off!

Design: Oh my god, it's SO CUTE!

I absolutely LOVE anything cute. When this little scorpion showed up in my mailbox, I was so excited. I took him out of the packaging and...OHMYGOD. Too cute. He even has a SMILE! I had never really considered the idea of a cute scorpion before this. Seriously, look at this little guy.

I did look up the entire zodiac collection from this brand and yes, they do have every sign and yes, they are all very cute and come in different colors. I would be very tempted to buy my star sign - Capricorn - if it wasn't for the practical issues with the toy. Read on!

Quality: Always a Fan of Silicone

Silicone, baybee. The Scorpio zodiac vibrator is waterproof and covered in soft purple silicone. I just love the way it feels in my hands. The claws are flexible but don't feel like they will wear out or get brittle. It isn't heavy or anything either, and the tail is an easy spot to grip.

There are a few spots that have visible seams from the molding process which I don't love. That seems like a cleaning hazard - the smoother a toy is, the better you can clean it and the less likely it is to harbor bacteria.

I like that the charger port is at the end of the tail. It just seems like the right spot for it. Like a funny little scorpion butthole. It's a port, not one of those magnetic ones, so it stays in place.

Experience: It wasn't as effective as it is cute

The Scorpio zodiac vibrator's shape was really hard to grasp and hold a good position. I wanted to position the head atop my clit and the claws on the sides, but they just wouldn't line up or stay, especially with the addition of lube which made them too slippery (usually lube is a good thing, right??). The motor wasn't as strong as I'd like, either. It does have several speeds and patterns, but it didn't go as high as I wanted.

I also found that the seams on the claws kind of killed the vibe (heh heh). They felt abrasive on my junk - not something you want when you're trying to get off!

Performance: Kind of meh

The Scorpio zodiac vibe is quiet, which is great for privacy but not my top priority. I was just not satisfied with the intensity of vibrations, and the design, while adorable, was not practical to actually use as a vibrator. I also found it hard to hold while in use. When I first took it out of the package, it seemed like the tail would be easy to hold onto, but since it's curved to one side, you have to hold it in kind of an awkward position with your wrist bent. That, in addition to the difficulty keeping the head and claws where you want them, made using it kind of a whole thing.

Materials and care: Not streamlined for cleaning

The Scorpio zodiac vibrator is waterproof, which helps with cleaning because you can submerge it. Unfortunately, since it has all these tiny details like eyes, a mouth, and claws, cleaning it is more fiddly than your average vibrator. Make sure if you get this one you pay special attention to the insides of the claws, around the eyes and mouth, and the bumps on the tail. It's not impossible to clean, you just have to pay attention to the little decorative bits.

It also gets a bit dusty if you're not careful on account of being made of silicone, but it didn't come with a storage bag to keep it clean.

Charging is very easy, as it has a plug-in port on the tail. It charges quickly.

Packaging: Very extra, but missing necessities

The packaging was aesthetically very pleasing. Kudos to whoever their package designer is, they did a good job. It came in a beautifully designed cardboard box. When you open the box, the vibrator was secured in plastic. It also came with an artfully designed zodiac card, which had information on Scorpios' sexuality and sensuality - a fun touch.

One thing it did NOT come with, though, was a storage pouch! I don't like storing silicone toys without a pouch because they get dusty, and because I don't want them touching other silicone toys. It did come with a tiny chain, which I can only assume you are meant to slip through the loop on the side of the toy to hang it from something? It could make a cute decoration in your room, I guess.

Price: A little high for what you get

The list price for this toy is between $45-$50 depending on where you buy it. I think that's high for something I found favored form over function. I absolutely love a pretty sex toy, but if it's at the expense of usefulness, that's gonna be a no from me. If the price point was a little lower, it could make a fun novelty gift for a Scorpio friend, but I don't think I could justify spending $50 for a novelty that may or may not work for someone.