Let’s talk about foreplay. Really good foreplay is what transforms an average hookup into something they’ll be thinking about for days. I’m going to share some foreplay ideas that you NEED to try tonight.

Play With Their Mind

The best sexual foreplay experiences start long before anyone’s clothes come off. Your brain is actually your most powerful sexual organ, so use it. Send a text in the middle of their workday with exactly what you want to do to them later. Be explicit. “When you get home, I’m going to push you against the wall and…” You get the idea.

Be dirty and specific because it's so much better than being vague.

When you do see them after work, try an unexpected touch. Graze their lower back when you walk past, or let your hand linger on their thigh during dinner. These quick moments of contact create anticipation.

Whisper something filthy when you're in public, then go back to normal conversation. That contrast between proper public behavior and your dirty thoughts creates tension that’s gonna pay off later.

Touch Techniques

Most people touch their partners the same way every time during foreplay. Break that pattern, and you'll immediately get their attention. Ever tried the barely-there touch? Just barely brush your fingertips across their skin - the inside of their wrist, along their neck, down their spine. The lighter you touch, the more nerve endings you trigger. I've seen grown men shiver from this one simple technique.

Play with pressure too. Start gentle, then increase to firm, then back to gentle. The variation keeps their body guessing and prevents that numbing effect that happens when sensation stays the same too long.

Here’s another one you can try: trace the edges of their body with your fingers. Follow the outline of their shoulder, down their side, along the curve of their hip. There's something incredibly sensual about mapping someone's body that makes them feel truly seen.

Be a Tease

Teasing gets a bad rap, but it’s the secret to building desire during foreplay. The key is to give a little, then pull back, then give a little more. Kiss your way down their body, but skip over the spots they want you to touch most. Make them wait for it. When you finally do touch those areas, they’ll be twice as sensitive because of the anticipation.

Try getting them almost there, then backing off and focusing somewhere else. That frustrated groan is a good sign that you’re building up desire. The longer you can maintain this tension, the more explosive the eventual release.

If you're feeling playful, make them ask for what they want. "Tell me exactly what you want me to do" can be incredibly hot, especially when they have to get specific.

Get Into Power Play

There's something primal about power dynamics in the bedroom. Even small power exchanges can create massive excitement. Try this: the next time you're kissing, gently pin their hands above their head. That simple act of control creates an immediate shift in energy. Hold eye contact while you do it, and watch their pupils dilate.

Or flip the script and tell them exactly how you want to be touched. Being specific about your desires is both hot for them and gets you what you want.

Not every power exchange needs to be physical. Sometimes, just telling your partner to stay completely still while you touch them creates delicious tension. The struggle to obey when their body wants to respond builds anticipation.

Use Your Words

Don’t underestimate how powerful your voice can be during foreplay. It can turn your partner on just as much as your touch. Tell them specifically what you find sexy about them right at the moment. “I love how sensitive you are when I touch you here,” or “The way your back arches when I do this drives me crazy.” Being seen and appreciated is a massive turn-on.

Try describing what you're going to do before you do it. The anticipation of knowing what's coming, but not exactly when, is electric. Instead of asking, “Does this feel good?” try, “Do you want me to go faster or slower?” It shows confidence while still getting feedback.

Sensory Deprivation

Taking away one sense can heighten all others. One of the easiest ways is with a blindfold. When they can’t see what’s coming next, every touch becomes more intense and surprising. Try this: after blindfolding them, pause for a moment without touching them at all. That moment of anticipation about where they’ll feel you next, is incredibly erotic. Then, surprise them by touching somewhere unexpected - maybe the back of their knee or their shoulder blade.

You can also play with sound deprivation. Put on noise-canceling headphones with some sensual music. When they can't hear you move around the bed, every touch becomes a surprise. The loss of spatial awareness makes the experience much more intense.

Play with Things

There’s plenty of things that feel amazing against skin, but most people never think of using them. Feathers are an obvious choice, but you can also try other objects. Try running a scarf across their body or dripping warm oil onto their chest and slowly spreading it with your hands.

Grab a clean makeup brush and use it to trace patterns on their skin. Focus on sensitive spots like the inner thighs or lower stomach. Get creative with what you have.

Extended Massage

A full-body massage is foreplay gold, but most people rush through it. Take your time, like way more time than you think necessary. Start at their shoulders and work all the way down to their feet before you even think about touching erogenous zones.

The key is to treat it as pleasure in itself, not just a path to sex. Use actual massage oil (not just any lotion), warm it between your hands first, and use long, firm strokes that gradually get lighter as you get closer to sensitive areas.

Pay special attention to spots that never get love like the back of the arms, the sides of the ribcage, the area where the thigh meets the butt. These overlooked spots are packed with nerve endings and respond beautifully to attention.

Read Their Body

The best lovers pay attention. Your partner's body will tell you exactly what's working if you know what to look for. When you find something that gets a strong reaction, don't immediately switch techniques. That's a common mistake. Instead, continue with slight variations. If they gasp when you kiss a particular spot, explore that area more thoroughly.

Final Words

The secret to having a hot sex life long-term isn’t finding one foreplay technique, it’s constantly mixing things up. Our brains crave novelty, so don’t be afraid to experiment. The worst that can happen is you both laugh about it, which is actually pretty intimate in its own way. Sex doesn’t always have to be serious and perfect. Sometimes, the best connections happen when both of you can be a little silly.

Remember, foreplay doesn't always have to lead to sex or even to orgasm. Sometimes, exploring each other’s bodies without the pressure of a “finish line” creates the most memorable experiences. Sometimes, you can make foreplays of the main event.

The most important thing is that you’re both present. That attentiveness of being completely tuned into your partner is what turns good sex into mind-blowing sex that they'll be thinking about for days afterward.