How to Have Sex Dreams: A Playful Guide to Unlocking Erotic Sleep

Dreams are slippery. One night, you’re sipping Negronis with your high school crush, the next all of your teeth are falling out. But that’s not why we’re here. We’re here for the juicy, naughty dreams you keep all to yourself. 

If you’ve ever wondered why you have sex dreams, you’ve probably wondered how to have sex dreams, as well. You’re not alone. We all wish we could manufacture that kind of dreamscape satisfaction.

While no one can force a specific dream to happen—some things are unfortunately beyond our control—there are a few fun, flirty ways to invite your subconscious to spice things up while you snooze.

What Are Sex Dreams?

Dreams are the brain’s way of processing emotions, memories, and desires. Sex dreams—often called “nocturnal fantasies”—are simply scenarios where the mind adventures into more erotic terrain.

Sex dreams don’t always match your waking preferences. Your brain is experimental, and the dream world is where it plays.

Learning how to have sex dreams isn’t about cracking a secret code and requesting X-rated scenarios. Instead, it’s about priming your mind and body so your dream-life is inclined to get a little steamier.

How to Have Sex Dreams

Step One: Feed Your Fantasy

If you want to have sex dreams, fill your waking hours with foreplay for your mind. 

Before bed, feed your fantasy by immersing yourself in sensual content. Reading erotic literature, watching romantic films or pornography, and indulging in spicy daydreams can seep into your subconscious. 

If your brain drifts off while you’re midway through your favorite romantic movie, you’re more likely to dream about it.

Another great way to feed your fantasy is with the right toy. Find the perfect new vibrator with our list of 10 Clit Suction Toys That’ll Blow Your Mind.

Step Two: Keep a Dream Journal

The more attention you pay to your dream life, the more attuned you’ll be to patterns and changes. 

Write down your dreams as soon as you wake up, even if they’re not steamy. Over time, you’ll be able to notice your dreams more clearly and frequently. And if you do what up from a hot, sexy dream? Write it down! Reading it later might just spark another one.

Step Three: Daydream Like It’s a Workout

Daydreaming is completely underrated.

If you want to learn how to have sex dreams, try practicing your fantasies during the day. Let your imagination wander into playful, sensual territory—visualize setting, partners, and scenarios that excite you.

Daydreams are like “rehearsals” for your subconscious, priming it to take the lead and spice up your sleep.

Ever wondered why you and your partner’s porn choices are so different? Learn the ins and outs of gendered port preferences with The Difference Between Men and Women’s Porn Preferences.

Step Four: Play With Lucid Dreaming

Lucid dreaming is the practice of becoming aware that you’re dreaming. It can be a powerful tool if you’re trying to have sex dreams. With practice, you can sometimes guide your dream into a more erotic direction.

Techniques like reality checks (asking yourself throughout waking hours, “Am I dreaming?”) help you gain awareness while asleep. And once you’re a successful lucid dreamer? The possibilities are endless.

Another skill you should consider playing around with is edging. Like lucid dreaming, it puts you in control of your pleasure. Learn more in our article What is Edging?

Step Five: Embrace the Mystery

Let’s be real: no one can fully control what they dream about. That’s part of the fun, though! If you wake up from a sex dream, take it as a gift from your subconscious rather than a reason to curate your dreams.

By lowering pressure and letting your brain roam free, you’ll make more space for these nocturnal fantasies to occur naturally.

Here’s a mystery you can finally get to the bottom of, performatives males. We’ve broken down where this trend emerged from and what red flags to look out for in What Is a Performative Male?

Why You Might Not Be Having Sex Dreams

Stressful or boring dreams might be linked to anxiety, lack of sleep, or a restless routine. Prioritizing relaxation, pleasure, and rest is key to reducing unwanted dreams. After all, stress is the ultimate buzzkill for waking and dream life.

So tonight, instead of doom-scrolling, try a little mental seduction. Relax and think about who, or what, turns you on. Slip under the covers, fix your pillow, and have sweet (hopefully sexy) dreams.

When you’re ready to bust out of the dream world and get freaky IRL, check out The Best Places to Have Sex: Creative Spots, Real Talk, and What to Watch Out For.