Sex Tips for Men: Tips Straight from the Source

When it comes to female pleasure, men worry over size, stamina, or some secret Kama Sutra position—as if that’s where the secret lies.

In reality? What really makes women melt is connection, communication, and follow-through. It also doesn’t hurt to have a few tricks up your sleeve.

1. Communication Is the Sexiest Move You Can Make

The biggest turn on? Asking what we like.

“Communication” is often bundled up with emotional connection. Emotional connection has its place! But I’m talking about “communication” as a practical tool.

So, when I say “communication is the sexiest move you can make,” I’m telling you to ask for a roadmap to her pleasure. Not sure whether to go left or right? Ask!

A simple, “Does this feel good?” or “What do you want right now?” can mean the difference between an okay night and mind-blowing sex.

This might be how you find out she likes rough sex. Or, you could learn something even naughtier.

By asking and listening to the answer, you’re fostering another layer of connection—helping her feel comfortable and confident. Not to mention, you can skip “looking” for the right spot and go straight to it.

Pro tip: Don’t ask us questions constantly. Repeatedly asking, “Does this feel good?” can become extremely annoying. Once you have the road map, use it. It’s a huge turn-off to keep repeating the same directions over and over and over.

2. Foreplay Isn’t Optional, It’s Essential

If you think foreplay is just a warm-up, you’re wrong.

And, if you think foreplay is only for the bedroom, you’re seriously missing out.

Women often need extended arousal to reach orgasm. Kissing, touching, teasing, and oral sex are not just “extras” or “favors,” they’re essential.

This extended arousal can begin as early as a “good morning” text. Arousal and anticipation go hand in hand; getting her excited throughout the day builds tension to be released when you’re together.

Just take your time. Trust me, she’ll remember the man she lusted after all day, the one who made foreplay feel like the main event.

3. Be Curious

Not all touch is created equal, nor are all bodies.

Men tend to reach for 3-4 main areas of arousal, making sex feel boring over time. It’s like eating at the same restaurant every night—you start craving something, anything, else.

Get curious about her body. What does it feel like to kiss her ribcage? Is there part of her back you’ve never run your hand down? Does she like to be grabbed hard or caressed gently?

Some women are sensitive about areas of their bodies, often from previous trauma or discomfort. If you’re nervous about exploring, ask her, “Are there areas of your body you don’t like to be touched?” Remember, you’re building a roadmap.

When you have the go-ahead, dive in. A man who treats touch like an opportunity to discover will always stand out.

4. Slow Down, Speed Racer

Rushing through sex is one of the most common mistakes men make.

We understand that time may not be on your side—but slower is almost always better for us.

Slowing down creates more tension, pleasure, and develops intimacy. Try teasing her with slower thrusts, lingering kisses on the neck, or drawing out oral and digital play.

Think of an orgasm like a mountain: you have to climb to the top. When sex is rushed, it feels like we’ve barely left the trailhead. Build her up until she’s begging you to go faster.

And always, always warn her before you finish—no matter where you finish.

5. Learn to Love the Clitoris, and to Let it Go

The clitoris is queen. End of story. Most women orgasm through clitoral stimulation, either alone or paired with penetration.

Use your fingers, your tongue, or a toy to give it proper attention. But don’t overdo it!

Overstimulation happens when one area of the body—vagina included—receives constant stimulation and becomes numb. One of the most common mistakes men make is going straight for the clitoris and never moving.

Foreplay applies to every move you make in the bedroom, even when you’ve moved on to the main event. Slow down and lean into the art of touching we talked about earlier. You found her clit? Great. Now go pay some attention to her inner labia (clitoral legs), or urethra (skenes glands), or move lower. Then go back to the clit.

Sometimes, to get to the top of that mountain, you have to go over a few rolling hills.

6. Mix Up the Positions

Missionary is great—underrated even! But variety is spicy.

Positions like cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, and spooning allow clitoral stimulation. They’re perfect for your hand to reach around, or for her favorite vibrator to make an appearance.

Don’t treat positions like a checklist, though. Instead, let yourselves flow through positions naturally—even if it means changing positions mid-action.

7. Talk Dirty (But Keep It Real)

Dirty talk doesn’t need to get out of control—unless that’s what you’re both into.

“You feel so good” is the PB&J of dirty talk; you can never go wrong with it. Another classic is “I love watching you,” though that one needs to be in the moment.

The key is authenticity—if you don’t feel it, don’t say it. A confident, honest man talking dirty is one of the hottest things ever.

8. Pay Attention to Aftercare

Sex doesn’t end at orgasm.

Aftercare Scenario 1: You both came, and now you’re wondering how to handle the moments afterward. The secret here is to do what feels right. Holding, cuddling, kissing, or even just talking can deepen intimacy and make your partner feel valued.

Some women need aftercare, some don’t. If you’re unsure, just ask her.

Aftercare Scenario 2: You came, and now you have a life-altering decision to make: do you roll over and end it there, or do you become her hero and make sure she finishes?

Boys, if there is one thing you take from this list, let it be to choose option 2. Most men will go for option 1, thinking they came and sex is now complete. They couldn’t be more wrong.

If you ever want to get a call back, you go for round two, even if it’s just for her.

9. Don’t Fear Toys

Sex toys are not competition—they’re in the trenches with you. Vibrators, cock rings, and other toys are tools to enhance pleasure for both of you.

A man who confidently introduces toys into the bedroom shows security in your masculinity and an understanding that sex is about exploration, not ego. It’s a major green flag.