Stephen Colbert Defends Your Dildo

By the same Creator

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  A New Twist To An Old Game: The TENGA SPINNER SPN-003

  The TENGA SPINNER SPN-003 delivers a unique twist on male masturbation. Pretty much taking up the job of spinning the second you insert yourself into the long jelly-flexi tube, the all-new internal coil here adds immeasurable pleasure as you execute each stroke. You have to be fully invested (inserted all the way) to get the most out of this little machine's jerk-off assistance, but it will get you off in no time if you keep your thrusting steady and firm.

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  Co-starring with Lulu Chu's Main Squeeze

  Who wouldn't want to get up close and personal with a beautiful Chinese porn star? The Lulu Chu Main Squeeze stroker is a male masturbator rendered in that high-end line of jerk-off sleeves based on the pussy proportions of a famous adult star. With a textured interior, set in a hard-shell case, an oh-so-twistable airtight cap that adds wonderfully to the unit's suction, a side 'squeeze plate' feature so the user can add or decrease pressure as he sees fit, and the ability to disassemble for a quick clean up, you get a lot for the price of this toy. Co-starring with Lulu has never been better. And let's face it, this is as close as any of us is ever likely to get to fucking a porn star. Why not have at it with this well-made, soft and welcoming life-like vagina sleeve.

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  Violet Myers, Another Wonderful Fleshlight Girl

  From the company that brings us all "The #1 Selling Male Sex Toy In The World," Fleshlight presents yet another textured masturbating sleeve, this one rendered in the 'likeness' of porn star, Violet Myers. Sporting the usual Fleshlight adjustable suction cap, this phthalate-free thrust-'til-you-bust sleeve made of the company's SuperSkin material, features Meyer's signature Waifu texture in a hard pearlescent case. You really can't go wrong with a Fleshlight.

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  Gettin' A Hand...From The Handy

  Enter the world of state-of-the-art, motorized Scandinavian male masturbation with The Handy. From its big black box discreet packaging to the heavyweight apparatus that holds the cup-like ribbed sleeve that connects you to the unit via its 'TruGrip' band, really what doesn’t this jerk-offer do? Online you can hook up to the 'Handyverse' (QR Code included with the instructions) and synchronize the machine to video and VR headsets. In this mode, you can also have a partner manipulate your strokes and speed via remote control. Offline, it becomes a highly versatile masturbator with a bunch of speeds and vibration modes. And with no battery running the motor, you just plug the Handy in, then yourself, and away you go. While this might not be the easiest machine to fit on yourself, and it does tend to get a little heavy the longer you are in it, you pay for what you get here....one of the higher-end motorized male masturbators on the market today.

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