The Boring But Necessary Guide to Sex Toy Storage

Alright, let’s talk about something way less sexy than the actual sex part…storage. Yeah, I know, not exactly the fantasy material, but let’s be adults (kinda) and go through what actually matters when it comes to storing your sex toys. 

This ain’t glamorous, but it’s necessary if you care about your body, your bank account, and not having your vibrator roll out of a drawer in front of your mom.

We actually conducted a survey about what people would do if their parents discovered their toys. Here are the findings:

It seems like most people actually wouldn't mind too much if their parents discovered their toys!

But, you have to admit, it's still a tiny bit embarrassing.

First: Clean That Sh*t Before You Store It

Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. You don’t store toys without cleaning them first. That’s not just lazy, it’s nasty. Bacteria, lube residue, and body fluids- none of that should be going back in your body next time.

Basic cleaning rules:

• Non-porous toys (silicone, glass, stainless steel, etc.): Wash with warm water and unscented soap. Or use a toy cleaner if you’re bougie. Some can be boiled (check the label, don’t wing it).

• Porous toys (jelly, rubber, TPE): These don’t clean 100% no matter what you do, so they should be used with condoms and definitely not shared. Clean ASAP and dry them fully.

• Vibrators or battery-powered toys: Don’t dunk ‘em. Use a damp cloth and avoid getting the charging port wet. Again, common sense.

Once clean, dry them completely. Moisture = mold. 

Mold = body horror and a trip to the ER you don’t want to take. So don’t skip this part.

Storage Basics: What Your Toys Want

Nope, they don’t want to live in a tangled mess under your bed next to old socks and charger cables. Here’s what they want:

• Dry environment: As we mentioned just now, moisture is the enemy. Always.

• Cool & dark: Heat and sunlight can warp the material or break down softer toys.

• Separate spaces: Some toys react to others when stored together (like silicone melting into silicone—gross), so they need their own little zones.

Storage Options (From Mundane to Fancy AF)

1. The Ziploc Method (aka Broke & Functional)

Literally store each toy in its own Ziploc bag or small cloth pouch. Cheap, works fine, and keeps materials from touching each other. Just don’t be the maniac with 12 sticky baggies shoved in one drawer.

2. Toy Bags or Pouches

Most quality toys come with one. Use it. Or buy a pack of cheap microfiber drawstring bags. They're lint-free, washable, and won’t judge you for your collection.

3. Storage Boxes

Anything with compartments works. Think makeup organizers, tool boxes, even fishing tackle boxes if you're freaky and outdoorsy. Just make sure:

• It’s not see-through if you don’t want nosy guests to see your 9" silicone alien dong

• It closes securely (dust and bacteria are rude)

• You line it with soft cloth or individual bags

4. Dedicated Lockable Toy Cases

They exist, and they’re not just for the ultra-kinky. You can find lockable cases with built-in charging ports and UV sterilizers if you want to feel like James Bond meets the Hitachi Fairy. Not necessary, but cool if you're into it.

5. Discreet Household Items (if you’re hiding things)

Put the toy in a pouch first, then hide it in something boring and normal, like a laptop bag, shoe box, or rice cooker box, and no one ever touches it. Whatever works. The possibilities are endless here; if it looks like it can fit a toy, give it a try.

Tip: If you’ve got a growing collection, label your bags or use a color system. Especially if you use different toys for anal, vaginal, or partner play. Cross-contamination ain’t hot.

Stuff You Should Not Do

• Don’t throw them all in one drawer unprotected. Materials degrade over time. You’ll end up with melted, sticky chaos.

• Don’t store dirty toys. Already said it, saying it again. Dirty toys breed bacteria, germs, and everything Plankton forgot to warn us about. Your insides are not the Chum Bucket, so if you don’t want a raging infection, clean first, then store.

• Don’t leave batteries in battery-powered toys. They’ll corrode and fuck up your toy and your day.

• Don’t use plastic wrap, tin foil, or paper towels as storage. Not protective. Not hygienic. Just dumb.

What About Charging & Power Stuff?

• Store your charging cables with your toys. Nothing’s worse than having the perfect vibe for the mood... and no charger.

• If the toy uses magnetic chargers, make sure nothing metal is close by to mess with it.

• Don’t charge toys while storing them long-term. Charge them fully, unplug, then stash.

Kids? Roommates? Nosy Guests?

If you live with other people, kids, housemates, or in-laws crashing on the couch, don’t assume your stuff is safe just because it’s "tucked away." People open drawers. People snoop. Sometimes they’re just looking for scissors and end up pulling up a lube launcher or rabbit vibe.

Do yourself a favor and keep your toys in a lockbox, a discreet case, or at least something that closes securely and doesn’t scream “sex dungeon” when opened. This isn’t about shame, it’s about keeping your private stuff...private and avoiding awkward stories no one wants to tell at dinner.

Traveling With Toys 

Taking your toys on the road? Good. Pleasure doesn’t take vacations off. But if you’re tossing them in a duffel like it’s socks and snacks, you're begging for TSA weirdness or a broken vibe.

Here’s how not to screw it up:

• Use a pouch + hard case: Keeps the toy clean and protected from whatever's rolling around in your luggage (loose Advil, spilled shampoo, your laptop charger of doom).

• Remove batteries before flying: Especially in older toys. Batteries can leak or trigger weird airport scanner drama. If it's rechargeable, make sure it's off.

• Don’t pack anything that looks like a weapon: Glass dildos, metal anal hooks, or that one custom blade-shaped plug…TSA does not care that it's for “sensual meditation.” If it looks sketchy, it’s getting flagged.

The Bottom Line

It’s not sexy. It’s not wild. But it is necessary. Good storage means your toys last longer, work better, and don’t give you an unexpected yeast infection on a random Thursday. Take five minutes. In a nutshell: 

• Clean it. Dry it. Store it separately.

• Keep it cool, dry, and away from sunlight and nosy people.

• Label it, charge it, and don’t let it melt into other toys like some freaky silicone orgy.

• Respect your collection. Your junk deserves better than a moldy nightstand drawer.