Tips on Top: A Woman’s Guide to Confidence, Pleasure, and Stamina

When it comes to sex positions for women, nothing screams power and pleasure quite like being on top.

Yet many women avoid it—between worries over stamina, feeling self-conscious about their appearance, or confusion over how to make the most of the position, being on top carries a lot of baggage.

That’s where this list of tips on top comes in. From physical exercises to mindset shifts, these practical suggestions won’t just make being on top doable, but totally addictive.

1. Strengthen Those Legs

Let’s be clear, sex is a physical sport. Looking beyond pleasure, beyond intimacy, sex is a lot of work. The number one challenge when you’re on top? Endurance. Honestly, how men hold a plank and thrust for that long, I’ll never understand. But by strengthening your legs and glutes, you’ll be able to ride that cowboy endlessly.

Being on top is basically leg day. Just an extended pulsing squat that can make your legs scream. To fix that, add squats, lunges, and glute bridges to your workout routine.

Don’t have a workout routine? Try doing 10 squats, 10 alternating lunges, and 10 glute bridges. Rest, repeat 3 times in total. Over time, you can add weight or play around with pulsing at the top of each exercise.

Stronger legs mean less fatigue and more time enjoying the ride.

What better way to boost your confidence in bed than by worshiping your body? Nudes are the perfect way to find all there is to love about you. Our guide to How to Take Nudes has you covered with the best poses and lighting tricks to take your photos to the next level.

2. Don’t Forget Core Work

Your abs and back play a major role in stabilizing you when you’re on top. Think of your core muscles as backup singers for your legs.

Planks, deadbugs, and leg lifts will help improve balance and control. These exercises hit your deep core, the muscles in your abdomen that stabilize your spine and pelvis.

Similarly to the leg exercises above, try doing 10 reps of each, resting, and repeating.

A strong core means smoother movements, less wobbling, and way more confidence in the saddle.

3. Cardio Is Your Friend

Let’s make cardiovascular endurance sexy. If you’ve ever gotten winded after just a few minutes, you’re not alone.

Cardiovascular endurance is key for pacing yourself. When you’re on top, your heart rate is elevated, you’re moving constantly, and your heart and lungs are working to supply your muscles with oxygen.

This is functional fitness at its sexiest. Jogging, cycling, and dancing can boost your stamina so you don’t feel like collapsing mid-ride. Better endurance equals better sex.

4. Start Slow and Build Rhythm

You don’t need to go “full porn-star” right away.

Start with slow, gringing motions to find a rhythm that feels good. Stay low, keep your hips connected to your partner with your spine straight and head held high. Rock forward and back, just getting a feel for the movement.

As your body warms up, you can build to faster thrusts and vertical motion. This not only conserves energy but also gives you more control over your pleasure. Just because he jackhammers away while he’s on top doesn’t mean you have to, too.

5. Use Your Hands for Support

Your legs don’t have to do all the work. If you’re starting to get tired, or just want to change the angle, lean forward or back and rest your hands on your partner's chest or thighs. This takes the strain off your lower body and gives you leverage to grind.

Placing your hands on the headboard for extra leverage makes your movements even easier and adds power.

6. Switch Up the Angle

Being on top doesn’t mean assuming the same position every time. Try leaning forward for deeper penetration, sitting upright and using your hand for clitoral stimulation, or turning around for reverse cowgirl.

Changing angles helps you discover what feels right for your body while keeping things interesting for him. Sometimes, simply swiveling to the left can open up a whole new world of pleasure.

7. Focus on Your Pleasure

Here’s a secret: being on top gives you the reins. Use that power to chase down your orgasm.

Adjust your angle so he’s hitting the right spot, or slow down when you’re close to make the moment last. Lean back to make room for your favorite suction vibrator, or grab that headboard and ride him hard.

Your partner will enjoy it more if you’re clearly enjoying yourself.

8. Take Breaks (and Make Them Sexy)

You don’t have to maintain peak speed or even stay on top until the very end.

For a breather:

• Switch to spooning or missionary

• Lean forward and rest your hands on their chest or the bed

• Slow down!

Treat breaks as part of the play—it’s about pacing, not performance.

9. Add a Toy to the Mix

Vibrators, suction toys, and even butt plugs can turn being on top into a mind-blowing experience. Using a toy while you’re in control can help you orgasm faster and more powerfully, which means less worry about stamina and more focus on your pleasure.

10. Confidence Is the Sexiest Thing You Can Wear

Forget worrying about how you look. You’re on top, you’re a fierce goddess who’s driving this train home with her strong, capable body, chasing down her pleasure. How on Earth would he not be thrilled to see you on top?

Confidence in your body and your movements is hotter than any technique, but I know how hard it can be to embrace. Hopefully, these tips will dull the edges of your anxiety and make being on top a comfortable, pleasurable experience.

You deserve to be on top, enjoy the power trip.