Sohimi Vortex P: Speechless or Screaming?

There are no words for how ridiculous this machinery is. The Satisfyer Curvy 1 is a stellar vibrator—great power, excellent suction head, and easy to navigate buttons. It’s a completely waterproof toy with Satisfyer’s classic 15 year warranty. Plus, the air pulsing technology is so well done in all Satisfyer toys, especially this one. Air pulsing pairs with vibrations, both of which feature 11 intensities. All around a stellar toy. Satisfyer developed an app to allow you to control the toy through your phone. It has some cool features like special vibration patterns, touch control to fine-tune intensity, and remote controls. The app isn’t something that speaks to me, I’m happy with using the buttons the old fashioned way. However, the app allows you to connect to Spotify and play any song through the vibrator. The Curvy 1 then translates the song into vibrations, so you can orgasm to the beat of a song. This had me in stitches. I laughed so hard when the Curvy 1 started vibrating to the beat of Greta Van Fleet.

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We Tried the Satisfyer Pro 2+ in Every Way… Even That One 👀 We get it — you’ve heard it all before. The Pro 2+ is the clit-sucking legend. It’s been hyped, praised, gifted by the dozen, and probably has its own star on the toy walk of fame. So why another review? Because honestly… not every legend hits the same. 🥲 For Leni, it was more of a “meh” than a “mind-blown.” She’s a vibe girl at heart, and while the suction is strong, it just didn’t do the thing. The vibrations? Kind of a letdown. And yeah — Karl tried it too (because science), and spoiler: no happy ending. But here’s the twist: even with our lukewarm love story, we’d still say it’s a must-have — especially if you’re curious about air pulse toys. It’s simple, effective, quiet (mostly), and when it hits, it really hits… just not for everyone. And hey, with that price? It’s kind of the house wine of sex toys. Sometimes you’re surprised, sometimes you remember why it was €15. Curious where we tested it next? Scroll down. Let’s just say… it involves nipples, hickeys, and a little suction science. 😏

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The Womanizer OG offers a unique blend of air pulsation and G-spot stimulation with its flexible, curved design. While the air pulsation on the G-spot may feel subtle for some, it adds an intriguing layer to the experience. With customizable vibration and air pulsation settings, this quiet and waterproof toy is ideal for users seeking versatile, gentle stimulation.

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If you’re curious and don’t want to spend too much money on your first toy, this one’s a smart pick. It’s cute, strong, and has a lot of options, maybe more than you’ll even need. I got it because I wanted something different from a basic vibe, and the combo of tongue motion and thrusting definitely stood out. It’s intense, not a “ease-into-it” intense more like “turn it on and suddenly you're not thinking about anything else” intense. I’d say it’s best for people who already have a sense of what they like, or want to explore something new. It’s not exactly beginner soft, but if you’re open to high power it’s a fun ride. However, it also is not something beginners wouldn't like. This was in fact my first rose toy, and it is my favorite toy now! So definitely try it even if you're new to toys. Cleaning is quick, charging is simple, and the compact design makes it easy to tuck away. My only critique is that the buttons are sensitive, I’ve accidentally hit the power mid-use, but overall it is totally worth it. If you're not getting any or just want to stop relying on your imagination, this is a solid choice. I’d buy it again.

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For $10 this toy is an absolute steal! It has nice vibrations that feel deep and almost tingly, the clitoral rocket feels reeeally nice and has a flex that gives it a potential to hit a lot of body types with a shaft length that makes for a decent dildo whether it's on or off. The company is kind enough to provide complimentary lube and the first remote battery, so you can essentially get down to business the moment you open the box! The only downsides are the lack of storage bag and the charge time being long than the use time, personally not a problem though lol. As promised, here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D66KRP83?ref_=ppx_hzod_title_dt_b_fed_asin_title_0_2

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This is the best sex toy that I have ever owned. Opening up the box feels a little bit like Christmas. The toy is sleek and shiny. It comes with an extra little goodie (lube) and fits comfortably in your hand. It promises to bring you to new heights of pleasure and it delivers. I have had the most consistent orgasms using this toy and it has become my go-to toy. I first realized that I was able to squirt while using this toy. I have not been able to replicate that with any other toys. This toy is super easy to use with a partner. Overall, I think the only bad experiences that I have had with this toy have been when I forgot to charge it and it died on me prematurely. It is phenomenal and legitimately my favorite toy on Earth.

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I'll say this, Tiffany's waaay better in bed than Stephanie in more ways than one! xD ;P Pure Envy's Tiffany is hung like a horse in comparison to Stephanie which is weird to type but accurate nonetheless lol. The shape is more phallic in nature which feels/fits more comfortably and has a single rotating thrust feature similar to Tracy's Dog Swirlii but not as intense. The air pulse feature is awesome and has 7 pulsating modes, which I prefer waaay more than the Ava Lolli's sucker. Pulsers are just so much better than suckers in my opinion. I LOOOOOVE that the two features are controlled by SEPARATE buttons, so you can experience one OR the other OR both with your choice of which mode it's in. One button for the thrust action and one for the pulser is just... right lol. The other awesome thing about Tiffany is she has a warming feature, which is.. pretty hot... in the sense that it's an enjoyable feature to have sometimes lol. She apparently likes baths, but I wouldn't 100% guarantee it as no actual IPX rating is provided anywhere, just a claim on the site that she can be submersed. If I had to sleep with a woman, Tiffany would be my gal. xD

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The Satisfyer Pro + G-Spot wants to be your all-in-one pleasure solution. On paper, it ticks a lot of boxes: internal and external stimulation, powerful vibes, strong suction, dual motors, waterproof design... sounds great, right? And while it can absolutely deliver orgasms, it’s got a few hurdles to jump before it gets you there. This toy feels like an ambitious group project where not all the team members are on the same page. The air pulse suction? Strong and effective. The internal vibrations? Deep and rumbling. But when it comes to doing both at once — especially on your anatomy? It doesn’t always work out. The shaft is hard and not very forgiving, and the alignment between your G-spot and clit has to be just right for the toy to shine. If it lands in that sweet spot for you, congrats! You’ve found a great little dual-action vibe at a good price. But if not? It can quickly become frustrating, uncomfortable, or just... not worth the effort. We had our moments with it, sure. But it never made it into our regular rotation. The design limits flexibility, and the rigid build doesn’t help. It’s solid for solo play, but loses its spark for couple sessions — and don’t get us started on all that unnecessary plastic in the packaging. 😑

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Dame's Dip is designed by women, for women in order to ensure that the most intimate needs are met. The almost scoop-like design of the tip allows it to curl perfectly around or pinpoint poke the clit for external pleasure; curl inside and perfectly press against the G-Spot; or just glide in and bring penetrative pleasure. It has 5 intensity levels, the first of which is a very comfortable setting (intense but too much) while the others only grow in fervor; it's a step up for beginners that feel they're ready for a bit of oomf and a reliable go to for more experienced users. It has a use time of 1.5hrs on its highest setting, a charge time of 2hrs, and is charged by an everyday USB-C charger making it easy to charge anytime or any where you'd probably have your phone and charger with you as well lol. To operate hold the button to power on/off and press it to continuously cycle through the settings. The Dip also features a travel lock that's activated by holding the button for 10secs or until the LED quits blinking altogether or blinks red, and it's only deactivated by plugging it into the charger. There's no official IPX rating anywhere, but all literature regarding it claims it's waterproof so it's highly likely that it's safe for bath time use. The Dip is a toy I'd go back to again and again because of its intensity, shape, and ease of use. The beginning intensity is definitely enough to get the job done and then some, and I love that the rest of the settings are all just a step up in the intensity instead of patterns I'm more than likely not going to use. I hate that it doesn't come with a pouch,

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