Utimi "Space Bean" Review: Your Bean Deserves to Glow Like This One!

Video Review

Rantings of a Mad Woman! ><"

It's been a hot minute since I've done a review, so forgive the dust that needs blown off while I get back into the groove! I stumbled home after some time away to find not one, but two boxes of delightful goodies waiting for me! These goodies were opened and condensed into one workload chore I've labeled "My little box of mysteries". The first mystery lies in what they are as I had no hand in picking them, and the second lies in each individual toy as it's been discovered that something is unknown or off about each one!

To start the journey properly, I decided to cover the biggest mystery of all. It hails from the planet Utimi, a dwarf planet 7.42 lightyears "South East" of Pluto. On this planet seems to be an unknown farm growing a strange little crop. Though it may seem quite similar to one of our own legumes, the lima bean, it's quite a large percentage bigger and seems capable of eating us more than we are of it. The name of this crop is unknown, even to the inhabitants of Utimi, so is the price, its survivability in water and how long it can stay awake for. They say it's the perfect gift for those planning a long strenuous space journey, as it's meant to relieve stress and tension so the murder rate on ships doesn't increase. ><"

Since the name is the biggest mystery, I've taken the liberty to dub it... The Space Bean... Real original, I know... Sometimes the best name is the simplest... okay! Stop judging me and just keep reading please. ><"

Mini Summary!

This adorable lima bean shaped device sits comfortably in its hard shell case basking in the glow of a YouTube Spaceship Ambience style ring light beckoning you to spend an intimate evening with it. It has 2 features, air pulse and full body vibration, each with 7 settings: air pulse has a single vibration with 7 intensities; while the full body vibration has 3 single vibration intensities and 4 patterns which are arranged in a 2 pattern, 3 vibration, 2 pattern style for some strange reason. It's a 3 button device that's relatively easy to figure out: hold the "o" to power the device on/off, and press it to change the mode; and use the +/- buttons to cycle through the settings. The settings cannot be cycled through continuously and when the device is powered on each mode seems to start on setting 4. No use time is provided in the manual but it is recommended that it be charged for 2hrs before first use and for one hour each time after. To charge simply plug the USB-C cable into the base of the Pod. No IPX rating is provided either, nor is a claim of being "waterproof" so caution is advised while cleaning the device and if wanting to use it in the tub or shower. Be sure to use a Q-Tip to clean the air pulse mouth and lightly use a pick of some sort to clean the ridge around the buttons.

The hard shell case is a beauty in and of itself, though its cover annoyingly doesn't stay on or in place without tape or a rubber band. It has a sweet ♥ shaped light that will blink while charging and hold steady when finished; if you gently run your finger over the hole under the sunset shaped icon you'll activate the night light feature; and for the first five minutes of charging a UV light will kick on to sterilize the product. This is almost better than a storage/travel bag! I say almost because the cover fiasco makes it hard to travel with and will allow the device to escape if knocked over while on display.

As it's currently a mystery to where it came from exactly, no price or color specs can be provided at this time, but should the information be found at some point this will be updated to reflect it! ♥

Packaging!

Utimi's signature single golden line design of an innocent but seductive female form echoed by ripples of silver will always be one of my favorites. It's discrete, simplistic, beautiful and if I didn't personally know it was an adult toy I'd be wandering what overly expense, out of reach, partially uppity type item was hiding inside (perfume, jewelry, a watch, idk). Nothing anywhere hints that it's anything really naughty in nature, just more or less feminine.

I'd like to imagine that if Utimi had a brick and more it would be elegant, bright and uppity lol. Essentially, my bummy ass wouldn't ever be able to walk in the store with my all year 'round hoodies, flip-flops and baggy comfy pants... it'd be more for the big floppy hat, gemstone covered sun glasses, pashmina, tight black dress, high-heel wearing types lol.

The only person that has to be subjected to my subpar fashion sense is the postman, and that's only if I choose to be at the door when the package comes, since I live in a time where Utimi is at least nice enough to ship things lol. Or at least, Adrian is in this case lol. ><"

What's in the Box?!

Inside the package: The toy itself, a hard shell case, a USB-C charger and a manual.

Much like the box design, Utimi also keeps its contents basic and minimal, providing the bear essentials. No plastic waste tucked away inside, just a simple foam cutout to help keep things from rattling about which is perfect. Though it's not the cliché storage/travel bag I'm usually prattling on about, I am quite tickled that it came with the unique hard case! Its only fault is having a shit cover that doesn't stay on without tape or a rubber band, but it makes up for that with its looks and other features!

Pod Functions!

The Bean Pod features an ambient night light that makes you want to curl up in the hull of a YouTube Spaceship Ambience video lol. To turn it on simply pass your finger in front of the pinhole under the sunset shaped icon on the side of the base. Unfortunately, I cannot provide a use time for the feature, but it should more than likely last until you drift off to some sweet space filled dreams. ♥

The Bean Pod also features a UV sterilization light that comes on for the first five minutes of charging. This should NOT replace regular cleaning but should help in keeping down bacteria or space-age germs that may have been missed while doing regular cleaning. This feature can NOT be accessed outside of charging.

The Air Pulse Function!

Information and Operation: The 7 air pulse functions are accessed by holding the "o" to power the device on/off. The moment the device turns on the air pulse feature starts and will be on the 4th setting. Use the +/- buttons to adjust the setting accordingly.

How Did It Feel?!: Testing while typing with the initially provided charge. Right out the gate this little bean knows how to nestle into the garden properly. The initial setting is very beginner friendly with its low intensity pulse, it's vaguely reminiscent of the ROMP Lipstick's initial setting and is something I could easily have a nice looong slow burn romance with. Settings two through four are also slow burn rides that are extremely beginner friendly and perfect for slow, passionate fourplay sessions. Five picks up the pace a little for a slightly more productive romp in the vegetable patch, while six seems to have some roots starting to pull from the ground. Seven is where I'd go if I wanted the quickest way to the end but the intensity is no more than the initial intensity of the INYA Rose... That thing is intense out the gate.

Opinion: Personally, I find each setting enjoyable and would use any of them again depending on the mood I was in when I picked it up. I would highly recommend it to beginners that are new to air pulse toys and want something cute, soft, gentle and easy to start out with. If you're into more high tense air pulse feelings like the INYA Rose offers right out of the gate, then I'd say this is not a toy for you in this regard.

The Vibe Function!

Information and Operation: The 7 full body vibration features are accessed by holding the "o" button to power the device on/off. The air pulse feature will activate the moment the device powers on, to switch to the vibrations simply press the "o" quickly. The vibrations will can be felt across the whole bean, and the "initial" setting will actually be the 4th setting overall, but the 2nd single vibration. The settings for this feature are rather strange, though not quite as strange as those for Pure Envy's Stephanie. Most devices start with single vibes in the first so many settings (typically 1 - 5) and then have the patterns follow, this sandwiches them in between: settings 1 and 2 are patterns, 3-5 are single vibrations, and 6 and 7 are the remaining patterns.

How Did It Feel?!: Once again testing it with the initial charge and as I type this. It still throws me for a loop that the first setting is a pattern when you crank this thing all the way down. Riding the ridged groove with the initial pattern isn't actually half bad, and I say this as someone that's normally not a big fan of patterns. Overall, it's definitely more of a tingly buzzy vibration feeling than a rumbly one which I am a fan of both in their own way so it's all good lol. Not a big fan of the weird 2nd pattern, not only because it sounds goofy but it just isn't a fun pattern, it leaves no time to enjoy any of the speeds it hits and just isn't gripping. The initial single vibration intensity is pretty nice, kind of mellow, definitely beginner friendly like the pulses. Using one of the larger sized faces is more enjoyable than riding the ridge as it seems to apply more of the buzzy vibes to areas and causes an overall more pleasant sensation. Same can be said for the next two single vibes, with the third being where I'd start if I wanted a quick and more intense start and/or finish. Definitely not a toy you can be a starfish with, you moving yourself against it or you moving it against you will yield much better results that just feeling the buzz or the pulses held against things. The heart beat pattern for setting six is a bit unsettlingly more than it is pleasant and like setting two wouldn't be visited again. The beat of the seventh setting makes me feel like Poker Face by Lady Gaga is about to come on which kind of kills the mood as it's the Cartman version that pops into mind rather than the original. ><"

Opinion: Would definitely come back for the single vibration settings, especially the third intensity. This toy is definitely excellent for beginners and just nice to have in a collection because of its adorable look and unique display/charging case.