This is a really fun toy! It is very quiet but powerful. The design is wacky looking but it works really well. The curve of the toy has it hit the g spot perfectly, and the toy can be used well hands free or with thrusting which is a bonus. Because of its shape, it does take a few minutes to get used to a different thrusting motion, but it is well worth it. While both motors are strong, the vaginal vibrator is more rumbly, which works quite well to help differentiate the sensations when both vibrators are on at the same time. Plus, rumbly vibrations are generally more pleasurable anyways! The vibrations are so good that it is difficult to hold on long enough "build up" to orgasm. Because of this, this toy may not be for those who like less stimulating or intense vibrators. For those who don’t mind an intense ride, this toy is perfect! In terms of cons, the toy lasts on the lower end of what is advertised at around 60 minutes with both motors running. At least once I could have sworn that it lasted closer to 45 minutes, so bear that in mind.

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It may not lick you like a lollipop, but it'll suck you like you are one! (Maybe \_(-_-)_/) My experience was not a Lil Wayne one lol, in fact my experience sucked in the wrong way. Though the clitoral sucker functions perfectly, I found that I could not get it into a position that got me off. The only thing erotic and stimulating about this toy for me was the phallic shape and the vibrating features. That being said it might be different for someone else and may be the perfect introduction to clitoral suction toys as well as vibrating dildos.

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In the grand scheme, the Satisfyer Mono Flex is a solid, middle-of-the-pack performer, its flexibility being its main claim to fame. However, when paired with its innovative app, this toy transforms into a orgasmic pleasure powerhouse. The app is the true game-changer here (If you have seen my other reviews, you know I don't like apps on toys but hear me out...), as it give the Mono Flex more than the generic on off vibrations but rather the ability to control both the clit & the g-spot motors (Yes! It has two motors!). On the other hand, the downside is that without the app, this toy is a bit limited in what it can do although it does have 11 patterns with 5 speeds we never really found one that fitted our liking without using the app. The standard clit vibrations don't go low without the app either so if you are easily overstimulated, you may want to take that into account. If you love both full clit stimulation and mixed with a good rumbly g-spot vibration, this toy will likely become a prized addition to your collection. The Mono Flex also shines as a premium, long-lasting toy that's backed by Satisfyer's impressive 15-year warranty.

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As a big fan of sex grinders, I love Calypso by Paladin Pleasure Sculptors, or PPSculptors for short. Calypso is a merfolk vulva grinder with a lot of texture. It's great for pillow or thigh humpers and can be used by any anatomy! Pair with your preferred water-based lubricant, then hump & grind away. Pro tip: Use plenty of lube!

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For $24 you're getting the bare essentials, at least in this case. No fun add-ons or surprises like the others, save the fact that they were still kind enough to include the battery for the remote which is always awesome. Of the 5 I ordered, this one is the least comfortable and arousing, yet still capable of getting me to completion, albeit a much slower one than the others. That's not to say that it still couldn't set of fireworks for someone else! I just find that the 3 prior to this one did the job better for me personally. The upsides to this are the amount of features, remote, IPX7 rating, and aesthetic. The downsides are the fit, feel, longer charge, and the invasive feelings I experienced when setting up the app. As promised, here is the link: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DZWV4F7B?ref_=ppx_hzod_title_dt_b_fed_asin_title_0_4

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Both my wife and I have really enjoyed using the Sea Horse dildo by Uncover Creations, her anally, me vaginally. It’s a well designed dildo, and I think the gentle scales and ridges are perfect for someone who likes some texture, but not too much. The bulbous head really does it for me, while my wife loves both the head and the medial ring. Even without a UV light, the marble Electric Blue and Neon Green look gorgeous together. I’d recommend the Sea Horse dildo to anyone who likes equine themed fantasy dildos and wants something with a bit more of a rounded head rather than just a flared head or flat head. The texture may not suffice for those who seek a lot of texture with their toys, while it may be more texture than some are expecting when ordering. Remember that when ordering a custom sex toy like Sea Horse to pay close attention to sizing! I find it helpful to have a dildo I use regularly on my desk with the measurements of that toy pulled up in one tab and the sizing for a toy I’m interested in pulled up in a separate window so that I can compare side by side. I said it earlier, but it’s worth bringing up again: I recommend checking out Uncover Creation’s firmness guide so you can have a good idea of what kind of squishy you can expect from the toy you’re ordering!

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This is the best sex toy that I have ever owned. Opening up the box feels a little bit like Christmas. The toy is sleek and shiny. It comes with an extra little goodie (lube) and fits comfortably in your hand. It promises to bring you to new heights of pleasure and it delivers. I have had the most consistent orgasms using this toy and it has become my go-to toy. I first realized that I was able to squirt while using this toy. I have not been able to replicate that with any other toys. This toy is super easy to use with a partner. Overall, I think the only bad experiences that I have had with this toy have been when I forgot to charge it and it died on me prematurely. It is phenomenal and legitimately my favorite toy on Earth.

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Sohimi’s Vortex P three spot stimulator toy is a beautiful, silky-skinned toy that left all of it’s users breathless and steeped in bliss. This toy is one of the most eager to serve toys I’ve seen in my time. The toy is quiet enough to be polite, and fits snugly inside, especially with the wide variety of vibration and licking settings (5 licking modes, 5 g-spot pulses, and 10 types of buzzings). I’ve seen many toys boast about having hundreds of settings, but at the end of the day quality always kneels beneath quality. The numbers are in the perfect sweet spot between variety and utility. In fact, even to the vibrating, dumb, and warm body it’s ease of use still isn’t lost to the pleasure it brings. The Vortex P is also a refreshing piece of fresh air to someone who needs more attention and care to actually enjoy myself- the toy’s functions not only change speed, but pattern and intensity rather than the standard increase in speed with constant pressure (pulse number four on the g-spot is one of my favorites). Despite how polite and loyal the Vortex P is, she does have her faults. She is advertised to work long distance, and intrigued, my and my boyfriend tried it out while I was out of the state. Despite doing every single thing we could, the toy wouldn’t connect. This was a major drawback for us, especially since we used to be more long distance. If remote control is the main reason you would like the Vortex P, I would advice against it. Not only this, but if working on all fronts, she lasts 15 minutes at most, and dies without warning. We have had this dim a few movements, but luckily the toy’s flexibility and comfortable fit makes a good fit for a reliable dildo instead. Although it is more fit for solo play, I have found that using it on someone else as a dildo can be an endless source of fun because of how sensitive the buttons are, but I can understand how that could be a downside for others.

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The Satisfyer Triball 2 is definitely an intriguing little gadget—and when it comes to stimulation, it doesn’t hold back. Each of the three balls has its own motor, so you’re getting a whole lot of vibration happening at once (yes, it’s as intense as it sounds). That said, the toy is super bendy—maybe a little too bendy. I found myself wishing for a bit more firmness, especially when I was trying to apply pressure exactly where I wanted it. The flexibility can make it tricky to really press into those pleasure zones using just the handle. Still, I genuinely enjoy using it. The vibrations are nicely rumbly (not too buzzy!), and the shape? Pretty genius. The balls are designed to stimulate the clit, vaginal opening, and anus simultaneously—and in my case, they hit the mark perfectly. Of course, everyone’s anatomy is different, so your mileage may vary, but if it lines up for you, it’s a lot of sensation in a compact package.

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