The Satisfyser Pro 2 is nearly the perfect toy. Its suctioning vibrations range from very gentle to bedshakingly powerful. Every other toy manufacturer should take notes on the layout of the Satisfyser button. One button for on/off, another with an up and down arrow to move freely between intensities. There’s no cycling between weird patterns or having to reach full power just to cycle back down to a lower intensity. It has genuinely always baffled me that toy designers can’t figure this one out, but finally, Satisfyser has. Personally, I’m not a fan of vibration patterns unless they’re really show-stopping. Satsfyser has one vibration mode utilizing air pulsing pressure waves with 11 intensity options. The only note I have is the shape. The head of the vibrator pokes out too far from the handle. It isn’t too bothersome while lying on your back. But to avoid being too annoyed when flipped over, I recommend positioning a pillow under your lower stomach to elevate your hips and get them higher than the vibrator. Otherwise, the toy will be rough on your wrists and hips.

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Sohimi’s Vortex P three spot stimulator toy is a beautiful, silky-skinned toy that left all of it’s users breathless and steeped in bliss. This toy is one of the most eager to serve toys I’ve seen in my time. The toy is quiet enough to be polite, and fits snugly inside, especially with the wide variety of vibration and licking settings (5 licking modes, 5 g-spot pulses, and 10 types of buzzings). I’ve seen many toys boast about having hundreds of settings, but at the end of the day quality always kneels beneath quality. The numbers are in the perfect sweet spot between variety and utility. In fact, even to the vibrating, dumb, and warm body it’s ease of use still isn’t lost to the pleasure it brings. The Vortex P is also a refreshing piece of fresh air to someone who needs more attention and care to actually enjoy myself- the toy’s functions not only change speed, but pattern and intensity rather than the standard increase in speed with constant pressure (pulse number four on the g-spot is one of my favorites). Despite how polite and loyal the Vortex P is, she does have her faults. She is advertised to work long distance, and intrigued, my and my boyfriend tried it out while I was out of the state. Despite doing every single thing we could, the toy wouldn’t connect. This was a major drawback for us, especially since we used to be more long distance. If remote control is the main reason you would like the Vortex P, I would advice against it. Not only this, but if working on all fronts, she lasts 15 minutes at most, and dies without warning. We have had this dim a few movements, but luckily the toy’s flexibility and comfortable fit makes a good fit for a reliable dildo instead. Although it is more fit for solo play, I have found that using it on someone else as a dildo can be an endless source of fun because of how sensitive the buttons are, but I can understand how that could be a downside for others.

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As a complete newbie to sex toys, the Lovehoney Rose Clitoral Suction Stimulator was the perfect introduction to the world of personal pleasure. What immediately stood out to me was how its viral status wasn’t just due to its cute, flower-like appearance, but also the advanced technology behind it. The suction-based stimulation provided a unique pleasurable sensation, and the multiple settings allowed me to control the intensity from gentle teasing to intense stimulation. I appreciated how compact and discreet it was—easy to store and completely unobtrusive when not in use. It’s ideal for those who are looking to explore powerful sensations without being overwhelmed, which made it a fantastic first choice for me.

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If you’re curious and don’t want to spend too much money on your first toy, this one’s a smart pick. It’s cute, strong, and has a lot of options, maybe more than you’ll even need. I got it because I wanted something different from a basic vibe, and the combo of tongue motion and thrusting definitely stood out. It’s intense, not a “ease-into-it” intense more like “turn it on and suddenly you're not thinking about anything else” intense. I’d say it’s best for people who already have a sense of what they like, or want to explore something new. It’s not exactly beginner soft, but if you’re open to high power it’s a fun ride. However, it also is not something beginners wouldn't like. This was in fact my first rose toy, and it is my favorite toy now! So definitely try it even if you're new to toys. Cleaning is quick, charging is simple, and the compact design makes it easy to tuck away. My only critique is that the buttons are sensitive, I’ve accidentally hit the power mid-use, but overall it is totally worth it. If you're not getting any or just want to stop relying on your imagination, this is a solid choice. I’d buy it again.

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The Satisfyer Triball 2 is definitely an intriguing little gadget—and when it comes to stimulation, it doesn’t hold back. Each of the three balls has its own motor, so you’re getting a whole lot of vibration happening at once (yes, it’s as intense as it sounds). That said, the toy is super bendy—maybe a little too bendy. I found myself wishing for a bit more firmness, especially when I was trying to apply pressure exactly where I wanted it. The flexibility can make it tricky to really press into those pleasure zones using just the handle. Still, I genuinely enjoy using it. The vibrations are nicely rumbly (not too buzzy!), and the shape? Pretty genius. The balls are designed to stimulate the clit, vaginal opening, and anus simultaneously—and in my case, they hit the mark perfectly. Of course, everyone’s anatomy is different, so your mileage may vary, but if it lines up for you, it’s a lot of sensation in a compact package.

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When I bought an erotic advent calendar in 2021, I wasn’t expecting much in terms of quality. But on the last day, I unwrapped the Womanizer Classic – and it’s been a reliable go-to ever since. If you’re someone who enjoys external clitoral stimulation, this toy is definitely worth considering.

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We LOVE this toy! The blending of the suction with the vibration is spot on, and not only that, it is not a regular vibration, but the textured shaft moves in the iconic 'come hither' motion which presses on just the right spots. Just a warning for those with a sensitive clit though: this toy sucks HARD. Even on the lowest setting we need to use it gently. Speaking of settings, there are three suction settings: strong, stronger and strongest. The insertable portion has 10 vibration and movement patterns but quite honestly some of them are weird. We wife prefer the straight forward vibration witht he fingering motion. The combination of the suction and the shaft make for mind blowing orgasms and I'd lie if I said it was a long ride. Let's just say I don't pick this toy if we want to take it slow...

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As a big fan of sex grinders, I love Calypso by Paladin Pleasure Sculptors, or PPSculptors for short. Calypso is a merfolk vulva grinder with a lot of texture. It's great for pillow or thigh humpers and can be used by any anatomy! Pair with your preferred water-based lubricant, then hump & grind away. Pro tip: Use plenty of lube!

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This naughty little Venus Butterfly has some ulterior motives. Instead of simply giving your G-spot a little vibe, the butterfly's little antennae offer some fun by being affected perfectly by the vibrating shaft. If you're looking for a smaller-sized toy with much to offer, this little bug from Calexotics Connect should be on your shopping list. It's a simple design, but it's one that honestly does more than you'd expect from it at first glance.

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