The Lovehoney Classic Wand 2.0 Review: Extra Powerful Vibrator Doesn't Live Up to its Namesake

Some sex toys that are iconic enough to be known by all: the humble Rabbit, for instance, or the Hitachi Magic Wand—which, arguably, was never even supposed to be a sex toy, but a simple back massager. Who would've possibly conceived that some dirty heathen would put a powerful massager on their happy bits!

But the original Magic Wand is no longer sold, and in its place, a handful of imitators have attempted to steal the crown.

Available in black, white, shimmering purple, and a blue to pink fade (as reviewed), at least you’re spoilt for color choice with the Lovehoney Classic Wand 2.0. But is it as effective as the original?

Ergonomics and Design: It's a Classic, After All

Imitating a “Classic” means you don’t get much leeway when it comes to design, and while we no longer own an original Hitachi to photograph this next to, I can promise you it looked almost exactly like this.

You get a long stem that’s easy to grab hold of, a semi-flexible neck, and a bulbous head. Although I can't speak from personal experience, the larger size of the wand compared to other vibrators is considered easier to hold for those with limited upper-body or hand strength.

The motor is located within the head itself, and all the action takes place there. On this version, the head is silicone, and non-removable. Some wands offer an interchangeable head system, with insertable attachments or penis sleeves; this doesn't. You can find attachments that slip over the head, instead, but in my experience, the vibrations don't travel through as well.

The semi-flexible neck allows about 20 degrees of flex—great for those who enjoy some pressure with their stimulation—but I wouldn't test the limit too much. The intensity seemingly goes up to 11 (I really hope that's a Spinal Tap reference), giving a great amount of granularity, but there are no built-in patterns, so you only get a constant buzz.

“Extra Powerful” My Arse

In theory—and according to Lovehoney’s marketing—the “mains-powered” aspect of the Classic Wand 2.0 should mean it’s awfully powerful. I mean, it’s got a whole 220V to work with here (or 110V in the US), right?!

Yet, that’s a bit deceptive, because the mains doesn’t feed into a powerful AC motor inside the wand, as the original Hitachi did. Instead, it converts to DC at the plug.

Continuing the comparisons to the original Hitachi, it operated on a mere two speeds, each drawing 20W or 24W. The LoveHoney Classic 2.0 gives a lot of speed options, but the maximum power usage (according to the plug) is … a mere 8.8W. That's about a third of the original Hitachi, and only slightly more than a basic USB port on your laptop. That just doesn’t compare.

Again, the original Hitachi is no longer sold, but the Doxy Diecast is touted as the most powerful wand in the world, operating at 20W maximum and delivering the deepest, rumbliest vibes thanks to the silicone-coated cast metal head that allows for a heavier counterweight.

The Lovehoney Classic 2.0 is only "mains-powered" in the sense that it needs to be plugged in because it doesn't have a battery, but that doesn't mean it's as powerful as an AC power tool.

In fact, you could get the same power from a battery. To test this theory, I put the wand up against a cheap, generic mini wand from Amazon, using a tray of water to see precisely how powerful and buzzy each motor was.

The further the droplets travel, the more powerful. The larger the droplets, the rumblier they are. If you get no droplets at all, it's a buzzy piece of shit. Science for the win! Here it is on the lowest power for both:

As shocking as it may seem, the mini wand performed roughly on par. At the maximum power output, the LoveHoney 2.0 appeared to have a slight edge, but in practice, the difference is negligible.

It Gets The Job Done

My wife isn't particularly fussy when it comes to power of a vibrator; as long as it's not toothbrush-grade vibes, she'll cum. The Lovehoney Classic 2.0 is perfectly serviceable in this aspect, and the lead is long enough that being tethered isn't a problem.

While it's not suitable for use in the shower, I wouldn't be worried about squirting on this either; again, it's not actually AC-mains powered at the business end; there is only a small DC voltage close to your body. Just keep that plug socket under the bed and use a tower.

As for me, my cock tends to be a little more discerning. That mini-wand I mentioned can do the job, but it's kind of tedious, and generally something we'd only use as a teaser. The LoveHoney Classic 2.0 is much the same; I can cum from it, eventually, if I really concentrate and combine with some other form of stimulation.

What Am I Missing?

I wondered what I was missing compared to the thousands of 5* reviews on the Lovehoney site ("powerful enough to break up concrete", "a 240V power tool", "delivered beyond anything we imagined"), but I’m calling shenanigans. One of the reviews mentions “this has a rotary dial for speed”, so they may have reused a product page for this new version. A rotary dial is typically used with an actual AC-powered mains device; it’s the simplest way to adjust the voltage. Once you have DC power, you delve more into buttons and digital controls.

It’s possible that the previous version of this toy was more powerful, but I’m just not feeling it with this one—and our testing proved it was barely better than a battery-powered mini wand. So either these 5* reviews are from those with little more experience than a tiny bullet vibe (I mean, yes, this is infinitely better than a buzzy little toy), or they’re for the previous version.

It's not bad, and it'll do the job. It's just... underwhelming, compared to what I'd expect from something that's "mains-powered" and described as "extra powerful".

But as a final point of comparison, the generic battery-powered wand from Amazon was less than $30. The Doxy Diecast is around $200. The LoveHoney Classic 2.0 corded wand is closer to $80.