If you’re looking at this because you’re disabled and find regular sex difficult; don’t bother because it’s unlikely to offer any benefit. You may have difficulty putting it together, and depending on your disability, the strain it puts on your body elsewhere may be too much.

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While most people think of a pair of handcuffs as the first step on a kink journey, they look a lot better in the movies than they feel in real life, more often leading to cries of "ow, those are digging into my back now", or "damn my wrists hurt." Instead, I'd argue that a decent under bed restraint system is a far more exciting introduction to bondage, and something will likely stay a part of your play chest even if you graduate to “harder” forms of bondage later. But shop wisely because not all under bed restraint systems are made the same. The DOMINIX Deluxe Adjustable Leather Cuff Under Mattress Set from LoveHoney is a solid choice, with leather cuffs and a secure method of mounting to your bed.

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The We-Vibe Jibe isn’t a bad toy by any means, but it works best as an accompaniment rather than the main course. At an RRP of $130, it’s also quite a pricey option, even if it does offer rumblier vibes than the competition. If you don’t know how you feel about internal vibrations, that’s a lot to spend on a punt to find out.

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Does the job in a portable, travel-friendly format. But maybe wait for a sale, because it feels a lot cheaper than it is.

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Elsa Jean is a young, petite blond beauty, and her Fleshlight is tantalizingly tight with delicious textures to explore. If other Fleshlights have failed to deliver, I think you might want to try Elsa before giving up entirely and going back to the hand. My endless search for a satisfying pocket pussy might be over.

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If you’ve always wanted to take the term “foot fuck” to its literal conclusion, the Succubus Sole Foot Fuck masturbator from Onahole.com (for US readers) or MostuToys.com (EU/UK) is potentially one of the best things to come out of Japan yet.

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In my ongoing quest to try out every kind of bondage gag possible (check out my ultimate gag guide!), the pussy-face gag was up there on my ultimate must-try list. In theory, it’s a cracking idea: stick half a Fleshlight on the front of a gag plus something to hold the sub’s mouth open, and you have a recipe for a truly mindblowing face fuck. It should even provide a nice buffer for the sub (if you care). After reading some terrible reviews of the original Master Series Pussy-Face Gag (the hard internal part is far too big, apparently), I found a cheaper clone on AliExpress. Elsewhere, this is sold as the Sohimi Pussy Face Gag.

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In the past, your choice of fantasy or animal-themed silicone dildos was limited to one or two manufacturers. But lately, we’ve seen the market explode with small, artisanal makers on Etsy (many of which will often do custom orders)—and a new influx of Chinese brands. The same toy that you’re used to paying hundreds of dollars for from BadDragon, can now be had for around $50. As with any mass-produced option, the customization options are non-existent and there are only a few color choices, but personally, I prefer the look and feel of this one. In this review, I’ll be taking a look at one of the most famous of this new generation of extreme dildos from China: FAAK / YOCY.

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Short, stubby, and with a massive head, the Plumber dildo from Hankey’s Toys wastes no time in getting right to the business of plugging your leaky pipes. This pleasurable plunger is great for those who either love the feeling of a pronounced head popping in and out, or for couples who love using a strap-on but struggle with longer toys and really want to feel their partner’s body push up against them as they take the full length. Oh—and for people who fantasize about fucking Mario. I guess that’s a thing?

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Ahoy me hearties! If you’re buying an insertable toy for pegging, you be wantin’ a curve. It’s that curvature that enables it to get in, and up, and hit the prostate—like a curled-up finger. While other toys might have a little nobbley bit or you’ll need to reposition yourself for the best experience, the Captain’s Hook from Hankey’s Toys is an almost comically curved dildo that’s absolutely perfect for missionary styles of pegging positions. And it’s not just great for the p-spot; if you like big toys for g-spot stimulation then this should work wonders too. But for now, raise your Jolly Roger, shiver yer timbers, and avast ye: the Captain’s Hook!

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This is the most realistic blowjob simulator I’ve tried yet. Instead of the generic up-and-down motions of a piston, the two servo motors provide a precise emulation of a head bobbing up and down along with those small human-like imperfections in motion or even deliberate left-right gyrations. That’s what you’re paying for with the Rubjoy, and if a realistic feeling motion is what you’re after, there is no better solution on the market right now. I highly recommend the Rubjoy if you’re looking for a realistic automated blowjob that can truly be used hands-free.

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The Kiiroo FeelStroker-series of sleeves and the Keon automated stroker machine are the ultimate in hands-free masturbation. But until now, they were lacking in one thing: suction. It’s like jumping from 2D to 3D, adding a whole other dimension to your masturbation.

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