The Sinloli Ukulele Review: Might Be Small, But It Can Fuck Like a Beast

The Sinloli Ukulele Mini Sex Machine is the tiny, cute brother of the bigger Hismith Premium. Relaunched in new bundles with a slick new controller and a brand-new connector system, it’s positioned at roughly half the price (~$300). But does it actually have the power to rock your world, or is it just a novelty strummer? Let’s see how it fucks, and what compromises come along for the ride.

Shipping and Privacy

The shock of your favorite postman coming down the garden path with a large box labelled “fucking machine” is probably too much to bear for most people. Thankfully, the Sinloli Ukulele (at least, the one we ordered through Amazon UK) shipped in a plain Amazon cardboard outer box. Inside that is the main Sinloli box, but the top is just plain purple, so you’d have to be really dedicated to open the outer box, pull out the inner one, flip it upside down and examine the labels. You’re safe there.

Bundles and Bang for Your Buck

Several different bundles are available, depending on what sort of ride you’re after. We opted for the one with four included fantasy dildos, since variety is the spice of life, and you’re buying this, you’re probably at the start of your sexual journey and not the sort of person who has a dedicated dildo cupboard. There are bundles more suited to couples who want to try the masturbator attachment, and others geared toward those who prefer more “normal” dildos. Most also include the suction cup plate adaptor; in this bundle, it’s essential since one of the included dildos only features a suction cup.

App control isn’t standard either, but it should be. It only adds about $30, and based on my experience with other Sinloli and Hismith machines, I’d say absolutely go for it. Being able to lie back and let a user-created fuck script take over the thrusting is where the real magic happens. That said, the machine I was sent for testing isn’t app-enabled, so I won’t be diving deep on that this time. Still, if you’ve picked up a non-app bundle and get FOMO, you should be able to upgrade later by grabbing a replacement controller.

Sinloli is a Hismith Sub-Brand

If you’re wondering why Sinloli basically cloned the Hismith Mini, fear not: it's basically the same company, along with Auxfun, and Wildolo.

Hismith is the flagship line: high-performance machines, maximum compatibility. Wildolo is for fantasy dildos (dragons, tentacles, eldritch horror vibes). Auxfun covers the budget end, with vibrating or oscillating machines for entry-level fun. Sinloli's brand identity is a little murkier, but frankly, who cares? The hardware’s solid, and the branding doesn’t get in the way of a good pounding.

For app control, they’re all cross-compatible, so pick whichever app UI you like best.

Design

The Sinloli Ukulele looks like… well, a ukulele. Obviously. It’s tiny, at about 41cm or 12 inches long, and collapses down into a small carry bag. Putting it together is trivial, taking less than a few minutes, though the rubber leg caps can be annoyingly stiff. It weighs in at 11 lbs or just under 5kgs (without an attachment), which is light enough to move around, but not heavy enough to stay in place during vigorous use.

So let’s talk compromises.

For me, the biggest one is in the legs. Sure, they’re adjustable and let you tweak the angle—more so than any of the budget-tier machines. But they’re nowhere near as long or sturdy as the Hismith Premium’s. The total height adjustment on the thrusting rod is from 2.8 to 9.8 inches (another inch upwards if you can get those damn rubber caps off the top of the legs).

That’s not bad, but it does present some issues if you’re trying to use it for doggy-style penetration. There’s still a wide range of positions you can manage (try lying on your belly with a pillow underneath if you want it from behind), but the Premium has around six extra inches of height to play with on those legs, and that opens up more possibilities.

The T-bar pieces that form the legs on the Sinloli Ukulele are a one-piece welded design and not as thick as their beefier Hismith cousins. They can’t be reconfigured into different structures like you can with the Premium (which can even be angled fully upright). That makes sense for the size, but it’s something to bear in mind if you’re trying to get creative with bondage frames or custom setups.

You’ll need to MacGyver it with cable ties or clamps if you want to mount it somewhere exotic. And because of the smaller, lighter frame it does have a tendency to shuffle around when going full pounding on a solid floor.

All About the Thrust, Baby

This little beast features a 60W motor, and it punches well above its weight. With a max thrust speed of 240 strokes per minute (about four times a second), it’s faster than most humans can manage. Stroke depth is manually adjustable from 1.2 to 3.5 inches, but that top speed only applies to the shortest stroke length. Longer strokes slow things down to around 80 per minute.

The stroke depth is easy to adjust, but you need to power off first to avoid injury; you can’t adjust the depth while it’s in use. You can unscrew this a little by hand; move the thrusting bar closer to the center for a shorter stroker, or further outwards for a longer stroke.

Motor power also relates to torque, or pushing force. That’s where the Ukulele starts to show its limitations. It delivers 250 N-Cm, compared to 412 N-Cm on the Hismith Premium. That’s a noticeable difference, especially if you’re hoping for anal play. Once you start to feel resistance from tight angles, insufficient lube, or just muscle tension from clenching up, the Ukulele can stall. It’ll still do the job if you’re careful and well-prepped, but it’s not built to force its way in.

Like any reciprocating fucking machine, you may need to weigh the legs down if you're on uncarpeted floors. Even with rubber feet it can tend to ride away at high speeds!

Fuck All the Things

Our bundle included four fantasy dildos, and they’re a beautifully weird bunch. Each one is sculpted, textured, and colored to stand out; not just visually, but inside you, too. In order of size (I've kept the same crop and zoom in all the photos to help compare), with names I've made up:

Lil Squirt, the Alien

13.5cm or 4.1 inches at the widest circumference, and the same insertable length. Featuring a gorgeous vapor wave electric blue, neon pink and purple marble, this one has plenty of subtle textures and an out-of-this-world alien design. The head is tapered for easy insertion, so for a gentle warm-up, start here.

The Mini Whale Cock

18cm or 5 inches insertable, but again, a maximum circumference of 13.5 or 4.1 inches mean this is step up in length but no thicker. It has a gentle taper along the shaft to the widest point in the middle. The textures on this are even subtler, and run mostly along the length of the shaft rather than around it. There is some ribbing in the middle, but only on one side. The coloration is a lovely gold, purple, and teal, giving it an aquatic feel. This one doesn't have a connector for directly attaching to the machine, so you'll need to use the suction cup adaptor.

The Fatboy

Perhaps the most normal dildo in the package, but it's also my favorite. The tip goes in hard and fast, with very little taper—and it's the widest point on the shaft at 18cm (just over 5 inches). After that enormous head comes a strongly ribbed but stubby body, with an insertable length that matches the girth. Featuring a predominantly purple coloration, there are also hints of white and gold marble. Note that any marble pours are unique, so yours won't be precisely the same. The Fatboy is the unforgiving alien stallion of a boyfriend.

The Narwhal

This is something to work up to if you're not used to fantasy toys, though the tapered tip should help it glide in. It's a helical coil with strong rib textures all the way from the tip to the base. At 23cm or 7 inches insertable, the base expands to a maximum girth of 19cm or 5.5 inches. The aquatic theme continues with shades of blue, teal, gold, and glitter—which is why I'm calling this the narwhal and not the unicorn.

EZFunLock Connector

In a slightly bizarre turn, Sinloli has opted for a whole new connector design called EZFunLock, which is very similar to the Hismith Kliclok, but not quite. See if you can spot the difference.

It’s a similar size, but rounded rather than hexagonal. This means the attachments can sometimes rotate while in the machine, which is exactly what Kliclok was invented to avoid. Interestingly, the Sinloli Ukulele is compatible with KlicLok attachments too, in the sense that they fit, but may also rotate.

The opposite way is not true, however: the attachments in this package cannot be used on a Hismith Premium (should you later choose to upgrade).

That said, it’s also not a massive issue, because the included accessories are all dual-use: they can either be used with the machine or as a suction cup, by simply unscrewing the connector. In fact, if you already have a Kliclok accessory, you can unscrew the connector from there and use it here.

If I’m honest, it’s a bizarre choice and feels somewhat anti-consumer, like a deliberate new standard for the sake of selling something new. I’m sure it’s not as nefarious as that, and they probably just had a licensing condition that said they needed to differentiate the connector in some way from the main brand, but who knows? It’s not a cheaper component, so there’s no manufacturing savings.

The Final Stroke

The Sinloli Ukulele is a great beginner fucking machine. It’s compact, travel-friendly, and packs more thrust than you’d expect from something this size. With a little angle fiddling, it can hit the right spots with ease, and the included fantasy dildos add a ton of value and fun.

It’s not perfect. The connector system is a weird choice. The legs can be angled, but the height is limited. The torque isn’t enough for deep anal work. But it still delivers in ways many beginner machines just don’t.

Definitely get the app-enabled version if you can, though. Scripted fuck routines are next-level, and they turn a good machine into something genuinely immersive.

But there are compromises here. You couldn't expect to pay half the price of a Hismith Premium and not have any, so you'll need to judge for yourself if they're worthwhile sacrifices. The biggest is the motor power: 60W is just enough for anal use, but only if you're fully lubed and going in at the right angle. If you face resistance or enter at the wrong angle, the Ukulele can stall. It’s not going to handle massive toys at all.

Take a while to shop around the different bundles, too. If you have some existing dildos that you love, you'll want a suction cup plate and Vaculock adaptor. If this is your first machine and you want some variety, the fantasy bundle I tested is great value. For couples, a set with a masturbator cup might be preferable. You could also just buy any Kliclok accessories that you want to use, and they’ll work fine in this; you might be able to save a little with just a bare machine and a few accessories.