Fingering Techniques That Are Pure Magic

Fingers don’t get the recognition they deserve, but with the right fingering techniques, they’ll find their place in the spotlight alongside toys and tongues.

Done right, fingering can be downright legendary—intimate, naughty, and orgasmic AF. Whether you’re flying solo or getting hands-on with a partner, mastering fingering techniques is a guaranteed way to boost bedroom confidence and actually satisfy the vulva owners in your life.

This guide breaks down anatomy basics, offers tips for everyone involved, and serves up nine titillating fingering techniques to transform your digits into something divine.

Let’s get handsy.

Getting to Know Her Bits: Female Pleasure 101

Before we get down and dirty, let’s talk anatomy. Because it’s not sexy to poke around and hope for the best.

Your Road Map for Fingering Techniques:

• Clitoris: The star of the show. What you see is just the tip—literally. The clitoris has internal legs (crura) and bulbs that swell with arousal, activating over 8,000 nerve endings. Every part of the vulva–the whole enchilada–connects to or touches the clitoris in varying degrees. But the clitoris and clitoral hood are where the magic happens. Give it the attention it needs, and treat it kindly.

• Urethra: She’s not just for peeing; the urethra is a super-sensitive pleasure center. While not typically targeted during fingering, the urethra houses Skene’s glands–you know, the little glands responsible for “squirting.” For some, it’s love at first sight, and for others, it’s a no-go zone–proceed with caution.

• Vaginal canal: While the vagina has fewer nerve endings than the clitoris, it responds to pressure, motion, and emotional context. Don’t neglect it, but don’t only focus here.

• G-spot (aka the Grafenberg spot): A spongy, sensitive area about 1–3 inches inside the vaginal wall, toward the belly button. The G-spot is typically found through the ever-popular “come hither motion.” The G-spot is believed to swell during arousal and cause mind-blowing orgasms. However, I’m in the camp that believes the G-spot is just the back of the clitoris, not a mythical pleasure center miraculously discovered by a man.

• Labia: The inner and outer lips of the vulva are packed with nerve endings and deserve your attention. The outer labia (majora) can be massaged, squeezed, or gently tugged, while the inner labia (minora) are even more sensitive and respond beautifully to soft strokes and licks. The labia minora are also referred to as the clitoral legs. Don’t skip them—they're not just packaging!

• Pubic Mound: You might be tempted to drive right past the soft, fleshy area above the clitoris (also called the mons pubis), but gentle pressure or circular massage here can feel surprisingly grounding and arousing. Plus, it’s a great place for introducing touch and teasing to build anticipation.

• Perineum: This is the sweet strip of skin between the vaginal opening and the anus. Too often is it left out of the conversation around fingering. The perineum is incredibly sensitive to touch; a gentle press here combined with a fingering technique can stimulate new pleasure zones.

Looking for more ideas to turn your lady on? We’ve got you covered with our article What Turns Women On. You do not want to skip this one.

Fingering Technique Ground Rules for Givers (and Receivers, Too!)

• Start slow – The vulva isn’t a vending machine. You don’t shove a finger in and expect a treat. Start with outer stimulation–linger over the pubic mound and tease the outer labia–continue kissing your partner, and gently approach the main act.

• Lube it up or don’t – Contrary to every blog you’re going to read, lube is optional when fingering. Some women produce copious amounts of vaginal fluid, making lubricant unnecessary. Some women crave a little extra slip and slide. But do be careful, it’s your first time lubing up, too much lubricant combined with natural fluids can decrease sensitivity (though you’d have to use A LOT to get to this place). Ultimately, lube is never a bad idea, but ask her what she prefers—she knows her body better.

Here’s our complete guide to lube, answering any and all questions you might have about this slippery substance. But if you're looking for my personal favorite lubricant, look no further than Foria Wellness. This oil-based lubricant is all natural, body-safe, and wildly relaxing.

• Watch for feedback – Moans, hips grinding, pulling you closer = yes. Tensing up, moving away, or silence = pause and check in.

• Use clean hands and short nails – No one wants a paper cut on their cervix, trim your freaking nails. For added cleanliness, latex gloves or finger condoms are smooth, safe, and effective.

• Communication is sexy – “Do you like this?” “Faster or slower?” “I love making you shudder.” Praise, questions, encouragement—make her feel like a good, good girl.

If you’re looking for ways to shake it up, take a peek at our ideas for kinky couples games or expand your sexy summer bucket list while it’s still hot outside.

9 Fingering Techniques to Make Her Melt

A note from yours truly: please, please, tease her. What is a play without a set stage? Gently run your fingers over her thighs, lower stomach, outer labia–everywhere but her clit. Let the tension build—make her need your touch—then give these showstopping fingering techniques a try.

1. The Disk Jockey

Remember 90s DJs, actually spinning and scratching records? Now, it’s your turn. Using the pointer and middle fingers on your dominant hand, press gently on her clitoral hood. Start by slowly circling in one direction, then switch it up, just you’re spinning records.

This move has you circling around the clitoris, hitting every side of it with complete control of the speed. Either by asking or responding to body language, you can speed up or slow down to maximize pleasure.

2. Come-Hither Magic

This is the classic G-spot (cough cough, back of the clitoris) move. Slide one or two fingers inside, curl them gently toward the belly button, and either pulse against the spongy tissue or apply gentle pressure and rock your hand back and forth. Remember this move later, because Come-Hither Magic is unstoppable when combined with your tongue.

3. The Hitchhiker

It takes a village, right? Let’s put those digits to work by using every last one. Let’s say your pointer and middle fingers are busy at work inside the vaginal canal. With your palm facing upward, curl your hand so your thumb is resting on the clit. 

This can feel a little like patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time. But if you’re able to put even a little pressure on both these spots at once, you’re sure to have her screaming your name.

4. The V-Formation

Use two fingers in a V-shape to spread the labia apart and expose the clit while creating tension across the area. Then, use your thumb or your opposite hand to stimulate the clit directly. Or, trace the V along her outer lips in slow strokes. Visuals? Stunning. Sensation? Glorious.

5. The Swirl & Slide

Start at the clit with a gentle circular motion, then slide down along the vulva, teasing the entrance of the vagina before gliding back up. Repeat. It’s rhythmic, it’s teasing, and it doesn’t overstimulate.

Rhythmic movements like this, where there are peaks and valleys in stimulation, mimic climaxing. Sync up with her pleasure’s natural rhythm and watch the orgasms roll in.

6. The Deep Wave

This one’s a two-hander. 

Once fingers are inside (2 or more), try slow, consistent thrusts that mimic the motion of a penis—but more controlled. Combine with clitoral stimulation for an ultra-satisfying combo. Use your whole hand to build a rhythm. Deep, slow strokes > jackhammering.

Remember, you don’t have to bury your face in her neck while you go at it. Lean back and watch the fruits of your labor.

7. The Hook & Hold

Hook your fingers into the G-spot and apply steady pressure—then hold. That firmness can build pressure and tension that pushes her over the edge, especially when combined with external touch and movement. This is a one-way ticket to the Big O.

8. The U Spot

The only way to squirt is through urethral stimulation, while this isn’t a step-by-step of how to squirt, it is the first step. Similar to the Disk Jockey, you’ll want to slowly circle the urethra—stimulating the areas next to it before giving it direct attention. 

You can find the urethra below the clitoris on the underside of the clitoral hood. It’ll be a slightly darker color than the clit with a similar texture.

9. A Little of This, A Little of That

This fingering technique requires you to find her clit’s preferred side. Typically, women’s pleasure leans toward one side of the clitoris, which will dictate which side of the clitoral hood to focus on.

If communication is as sexy to you as it is to me, just ask. Otherwise, get curious. 

A Little of This, A Little of That involves applying direct stimulation to her preferred side by pressing on the clitoral hood at an angle that applies pressure to the clit. Start soft, with barely any pressure. After a minute, move somewhere else, maybe switch sides, or give the labia some attention. Then switch back.

The idea is to continue returning to her favorite side after visiting different erogenous zones, gradually increasing the pressure and speed until she shatters with pleasure.

For more foreplay ideas, or even a straightforward answer to “what is foreplay?”, take a look at our collection of foreplay guides. From Becoming a Master of Sexy Foreplay and 12 Hot Foreplay Ideas to What is Foreplay, we have all your answers.

Big Tips for the Receiver

1. Guide their hand – Your pleasure matters. Help them learn your body. Grab their wrist, adjust the angle, or whisper exactly what you want. Trust me, it’s hot, not bossy.

2. Speak up about pain – If something doesn’t feel right or if nails scratch you, say so. It’s your pleasure. You deserve comfort and climax. And if you’re suddenly not feeling it anymore, pull their hand away and say no.

3. Don’t focus on orgasm only – Let go of pressure and enjoy the ride. Fingering is about exploration and excitement—not just the finale.

4. Go digital with the digits – If acoustic simply won't get the job done, don't stress–you're not alone. Add a vibrating finger massager to the mix, like the Finger Pro Flutter from Bellesa. Ain't no shame in chasing your pleasure.

Once you’re fully satisfied and ready to return the favor, we’ve got you covered with tips, tricks, and secrets to the perfect blow job.