Pipedream Classix Mr. Right Vibrator Review: Gave Me the Creeps

This is a weird little toy. I’ve told you guys before that I judge sex toys by their cover. It’s not something I’m proud of, and I’ve been proven wrong many times. I was hoping to be proven wrong this time, really. I gave it a shot, I promise. Even when I had to go to the store and buy new batteries, I told myself it would be worth it. But this creepy and useless toy was not worth it. I also want to say, I’m all for lifelike dildos with realistic texture and ribbing. But do not dye it primary blue and make it unnecessarily squishy. I don’t have any interest in a soft and blue penis. I don’t like that it’s the same color as a children's toy. You can have lifelike and you can have bright colors, you cannot have them both and expect me to like it. A pastel would have been wonderful and an earth tone would have been even better. I’m not saying it can’t be colorful. I am saying that it cannot look and feel like a children’s slime tube. Aesthetics aside, let's discuss performance. First, it required batteries, but once we got past that annoyance and into playtime it did absolutely nothing for me. It was so soft and gooey. It doesn’t target your G-spot, and the handle is too short to maneuver. And while the veins and ribbing were nice, they were not as stimulating as I’m sure they were meant to be. Plus, the vibrations were “meh.” The only service it really provides is penetration. It’s hard to find something redeeming about this toy.