Lovehoney Lifelike Lover 6" Ultra Realistic Dildo is Fucking Glorious

Short, stubby, and with a massive head, the Plumber dildo from Hankey’s Toys wastes no time in getting right to the business of plugging your leaky pipes. This pleasurable plunger is great for those who either love the feeling of a pronounced head popping in and out, or for couples who love using a strap-on but struggle with longer toys and really want to feel their partner’s body push up against them as they take the full length. Oh—and for people who fantasize about fucking Mario. I guess that’s a thing?

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Overall, I would say that this is not my cup of tea but it may be good for someone else. The smell and crazy controls are just too much for me, but that's just one person's opinion. I am sure that this is a great toy for someone out there, just not for me. Don't knock it until you try it, but in this case it is a sex toy so you probably can't return it. With that being said try the Naked Addiction Vanilla Dildo, if you dare.

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When it comes to the EroGeisha Jousho I have to say it’s been a pretty intriguing experience. The firm silicone and well-designed shape deliver a precise and satisfying feel, with the pronounced vein textures adding a nice touch of stimulation. While the toy doesn’t come with a suction cup, and reaching its full eight and a half inches on my own proved challenging, it still offers a comfortable and pleasurable experience when used with a harness. The thoughtful design, including the smooth taper and pointed tip, makes insertion straightforward and enjoyable. For those who appreciate a firmer, more controlled sensation, the Jousho is definitely worth considering. If EroGeisha ever decides to add a suction cup base or offer different firmness options, it could elevate the experience even further. Overall, the Jousho stands out for its solid build and effective design, making it a worthy addition to any collection.

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This thrusting dildo from Tracy's Dog is an amazing experience if you take your time to prepare. It is an intermediate toy and caution should be had if it's your first toy. I really enjoyed the combination of the thrusting and vibrating modes. The texture is soft with a stiff core, making riding fun. The design and mix of thrusting and vibrations allow you to not even need to move much to feel massive pleasure. If you're interested in a larger toy that can do a lot of the work for you then I'd go with this one. For the price point, I'd expect it to be loaded with surprises. In general, It's a great toy for both anal and vaginal play.

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The Takoyaki Tentacle from EroGeisha is a unique and intriguing toy, but it’s not for the faint of heart. The design, with its twisting tentacle and pronounced suckers, offers a sensation that's both fascinating and intense. The firmness of the silicone means you’ll feel every detail as it moves, which can be either a pro or a con depending on your preferences and preparation. When used with plenty of lube and a good warm-up, the Takoyaki Tentacle delivers a truly memorable experience, combining realistic textures with a twisting motion that’s unlike anything else I’ve tried. ​For those who are looking for something that delivers a mix of fantasy and realism, this toy could be a great addition to your collection. If EroGeisha ever decides to release a version with a softer silicone, I think it could make this already interesting toy even more enjoyable, particularly for those of us who prefer a bit more give in our playthings. Overall, the Takoyaki Tentacle offers a unique, if intense, experience that stands out for its design and texture, but it requires careful handling to get the most out of it. That all being said the EroGeisha’s Takoyaki - Tentacle scored 22/30 giving it a rating of 3.5/5, and I would recommend it for those seeking a very unique experience.

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10/10, no notes for the Gläs G-spot Dildo. It is fun and not intimidating, but also kinky. I love the size of it, and that it's so easy to use. The fact that it’s glass make it feel dangerous and kinky, like something porn stars would use.

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This clear, realistic dildo delivers an excellent balance of design, comfort, and usability. Its detailed shape and smooth texture provide a lifelike experience, while the sturdy suction base adds versatility for hands‑free use. Cleaning is quick and hassle‑free, and the body‑safe material ensures durability and safety. While it doesn’t include vibration functions, its silent nature makes it discreet and reliable. Overall, it’s a solid choice for anyone looking for a realistic and easy‑to‑maintain product at a fair price.

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Overall I have no complaints about it, but at the same time, no real praise. I like that it glows in the dark, the suction cup is solid, and the size is decent. It's fairly priced and well-made. I got enjoyment out of this one, but there isn't much unique that makes this stand out. That being said: If you have an interest in creature toys, I'd still pick it up. It will definitely still make for a pleasurable ride.

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The Primal Hardwere Widget really caught me off guard in the best way possible. The soft silicone exterior makes for an easy, comfortable insertion, but the firm inner core gives just the right amount of stability and pressure where it counts. The knot is the real game-changer here. At its normal size, it slides in easily, but once you start inflating it, the gradual stretch is both exciting and intense. The ability to adjust the inflation as you go makes it feel custom to your body, and honestly, it was one of the most satisfying sensations I've experienced. ​But what really took things to another level was the cum tube. Paired with the inflation, the warm lube injection gave me a feeling of fullness that was completely overwhelming—in a good way. The knot locked everything in place, and the pressure was unreal. I didn’t expect it to be as intense as it was, but it left me shaking in the best possible way. If you’re curious about inflatable toys or just want to try something new, the Widget is an absolute must. It’s hands down one of the most unique and enjoyable toys I’ve ever tried.

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