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smuttexts

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Age: 38

Gender: Male

A little about me - I've been a part of the kink community doing illustrations under the username smutlines on Instagram for the last 5 years. Recently I've found myself with a heap of toys and I thought why not review some of them and let you all know what I think.

  • Reviews(24)
  • Comments(23)
  • Fleshlight Hot Shots Mia Malkova Review: This Surprised Me!

    smuttexts

    Oct 23, 2025

    Fleshlight Hot Shots Mia Malkova Review: This Surprised Me!

    This originally was going to be a review saying how much I hated this toy and all the negative things that I didn't like...Instead, with a better mindset, I went back, re-tested and reviewed the Quickshot, and ultimately re-wrote the entire review. The Mia Malkova Quickshot differs from its full sized versions being only about 4 inches long and is a compact reinterpretation of the textures in the full sized units. It offers a versatile, engaging experience that despite some flaws keeps pace with the full sized versions, and in some ways exceeds them. Overall its a product that I can get behind and particularly at its cheap price, really recommend.

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  • Lovense Solace Pro Review. Let the machine uprising begin!

    smuttexts

    Oct 21, 2025

    Lovense Solace Pro Review. Let the machine uprising begin!

    If you’ve been following my reviews for a while, you’ll know that I have a definite soft spot for the techier side of the adult toy industry. If it’s got a motor, app integration, or some form of smart connectivity, you can bet I want to get my junk into it. So you can imagine my excitement when the Lovense Solace Pro landed on my desk. A truly hands free masturbator that has a fast stroke speed and is kitted out with the latest in AI syncing and from the moment I opened the box everything about this screamed PREMIUM. The feel of the sleeve, the ability to truly customise strokes, and online functionality really hit home how high end the Solace Pro really was. This is a device that doesn’t just promise a good time, it delivers it in spades. The sleeve also stood out with its soft, skin-like texture and subtle internal detailing that struck the perfect balance between stimulation and comfort. That's not to say it was all sunshine and rainbows, there were occasional faults with the AI not syncing which left me limp as I trouble shooted and tried to get it up and running again and the packaged sleeve while great lacks suction control. Despite these mis-steps, the Solace Pro is a full featured package that really just wants you to strap in and take you for a ride...and what a ride it is.

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  • Kiiroo Limited Edition FeelGlow Review- The Glow in the Dark Masturbator

    smuttexts

    Oct 16, 2025

    Kiiroo Limited Edition FeelGlow Review- The Glow in the Dark Masturbator

    Sex toys that glow in the dark - what could be a better combo? Introducing the Feel Glow masturbator from Kiiroo! When I saw this unit I just couldn't say no and the novelty of a glow in the dark stroker was just too cool to refuse. Unfortunately I wish the sensations experienced matched my enthusiasm while charging it up. It's not to say that its a bad toy, or even that it wasn't satisfying. It's just that in a crowded market, if you are looking for pleasure, there are better products available. If however your looking for something quiet, something to develop stamina or just something to play with in the bedroom with another. its redeeming qualities could make this the toy for you.

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  • Fleshlight Girls - Emma Magnolia Review: Is This Royalty!?

    smuttexts

    Oct 15, 2025

    Fleshlight Girls - Emma Magnolia Review: Is This Royalty!?

    Ranked No.1 on Fleshassist and generally reviewed highly, the Emma Magnolia Regal sleeve is a realistic, nubby little number that's made with a fantastic entry! The Regal texture on its own feels amazing and was one that I was really excited to try out, in practice though I found it was unfortunately a little too front heavy for my liking and was mostly let down by the tight and basic centre. Don't get me wrong, its a very enjoyable sleeve in its own right, but when compared to others in my collection, it runs third behind the Eliza Ibarra and Janice Griffith sleeves. At the end of the day though, it really is just personal preference and your experience may differ. Read on to find out what I liked, disliked, and what I felt could be room for improvement.

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  • The Firmtech - Max Performance Ring.

    smuttexts

    Oct 01, 2025

    The Firmtech - Max Performance Ring.

    The Max Performance Ring from Firmtech is a stretchy, elastic cock ring that uses an innovative clasp to wrap around your balls and over the top of the penis to restrict blood flow for a stronger and longer lasting erection. While this can be used for everyday sex, it is marketed more towards those with ED, so while you will get a bump in hardness and performance if your fit and active, actual performance may vary depending on your personal situation. At a minimum, the Max Performance Ring is a comfortable cock ring that does almost all the right things however its held back by a couple of small QC issues and its high price tag ($60 USD).

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  • OXBALLS - Trisport XL Review. A sling / ring combo that will keep you hard.

    smuttexts

    Sep 29, 2025

    OXBALLS - Trisport XL Review. A sling / ring combo that will keep you hard.

    I still remember seeing OX Balls products when I first started visiting adult stores, they had always looked a bit daunting and I never too the plunge. Now that I've had the opportunity to give this one a go I wish I had taken the plunge sooner! Don't let the looks of this cock ring fool you, its incredibly comfortable, stretchy and well worth the price. While the chunky feel may not be for everyone, personally I found when your feeling your balls pulled down from your body, your kept rock hard and the veins in your member are popping out its a sight to behold.

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  • Lovense Gush 2 Review - Holy F-balls...this thing just gave me a hands free orgasm!

    smuttexts

    Sep 29, 2025

    Lovense Gush 2 Review - Holy F-balls...this thing just gave me a hands free orgasm!

    After extensive testing of various automated strokers and things you put your junk into, I think I've finally found a toy that can achieve the elusive hands free orgasm! I mean you will still need you hands to get it in place and attach some straps but once that's done, just put on your favourite movie and let the Gush 2 take you to orgasm town. Let's just say this thing is a pretty amazing piece of kit.

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  • Momonii Skullman Review from Beyourlover toys - Do you want to F-me punk?

    smuttexts

    Sep 23, 2025

    Momonii Skullman Review from Beyourlover toys - Do you want to F-me punk?

    Let’s be honest - sex toys for guys can be a bit uninspired. Most fall into the usual categories: strokers shaped like flashlights, anal toys that all feel eerily similar, or yet another variation from Tenga. Sure, the designs may differ slightly, but unless you’re diving into the high-end, bespoke market, variety is pretty limited. But every now and then, something truly different comes along—something affordable and fun. Enter the Momonii Skull Man: an automatic thrusting and vibrating toy with LED eyes and a personality all its own. It’s quirky, it’s wild, and surprisingly, it doesn’t break the bank. Of course, it’s not without its flaws—but we’ll get into all of that in the full review below.

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  • Kiiroo FeelStars - Agatha Vega Masturbator Review. This Thing is BEW-DI-FUL!

    smuttexts

    Sep 22, 2025

    Kiiroo FeelStars - Agatha Vega Masturbator Review. This Thing is BEW-DI-FUL!

    Now this is going to go over the heads of anyone who didn't grow up in Australia in the late 80's and early 90's, but in the words of Con the Fruiterer - this toy is BEW-DI-FUL. Seriously I mean it, Kiiroo knocked this one out of the park! The material is soft but with enough heft to not feel cheap and the sculpt is amazing, displaying a level of detail I haven't seen in a stroker before. If Kiiroo keep this up, I think they may become my preferred manufacturer for porn star toys. There were a couple of small issues however, including a tear that appeared in the opening but overall this is a fun sleeve that will provide you with plenty of enjoyment.

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  • Lelo - F1S v3 Review

    smuttexts

    Sep 05, 2025

    Lelo - F1S v3 Review

    The Lelo F1S V3 is an automatic, rumbly bit of kit that is different from many other toys on the market. It offers a more subtle and refined experience but unfortunately this does come with a high price tag. Overall though it's an engaging, pleasurable device that isn't afraid to try something new. Boasting "sonic" vibrations, strong motors and A.I. features this could be the most tech forward piece of kit I've played around with thus far. One thing is for certain though, it's defiantly the most expensive high end device that I own.

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  • Kiiroo Power Blow Review - A Little Sucker!

    smuttexts

    Sep 02, 2025

    Kiiroo Power Blow Review - A Little Sucker!

    The Kiiroo PowerBlow is an add on device for the Kirroo range of strokers and can be used with the Keon automatic masturbator and excels in its ability to suck. The are significant drawbacks here related to its usability: tricky controls, reliance on apps, additional services and poor integration with interactive content hamper the overall experience for users who may prefer something simpler. If you’re open to app integration, have a Kiiroo Keon and need something to add a bit more pull you may have a great experience, for everyone else there are better options elsewhere.

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  • Fleshlight Girls - The Eliza Ibarra Ethereal Review

    smuttexts

    Sep 02, 2025

    Fleshlight Girls - The Eliza Ibarra Ethereal Review

    The Eliza Ibarra - Ethereal sleeve is a twisty delight, with multiple pressure points along the length of the sleeve combined with a detailed fleshy entry. While the mid section can feel a little loose, this is not entirely a bad thing as it gives you some room to relax and concentrate on the tighter opening that grips the base and shaft and nubby third section that stimulates the frenulum. Well endowed users will be able to make use of the tighter end section that stimulates and sucks at the head of the penis. Overall this is a very enjoyable addition to my Fleshlight collection, and one that I will be returning to many times in the future (or right about now).

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