Reviews

The Handy – The Only Hand You’ll Ever Need? 🤔 Alright, let's be honest - Karl and I originally wanted to keep this short and sweet, but The Handy just gets us talking.... and talking... 😅 Seriously, this interactive stroker is like the Swiss Army Knife of pleasure. From its insane customization options and impressive power to the endless rabbit hole of interactive content online, it feels like we've only scratched the surface after a full year of use! If you're short on time, skip right ahead to whatever sparks your interest - we promise there’s plenty to explore. But if you're ready for the full story (and maybe a laugh or two), settle in, because there's a LOT to unpack here! 🍿😉

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A Futuristic Toy with Strong Vibes – But Is It Really Worth It? 🤔 When I first saw the Satisfyer Men Vibration+ Connect App, I thought, "Okay, another futuristic-looking toy that seems like it could double as a fancy wine opener.🍷😂" Honestly, I was skeptical - but hey, for 20 bucks on sale, I couldn’t resist giving it a shot. On paper, this thing sounds amazing: dual motors, endless vibe options through the app, waterproof for easy cleanup, and even remote play with sexy audiobooks. Pretty high-tech, right? But does it actually hold up? Well... yes and no. It’s definitely fun, but it’s got a few quirks you should know about. Let's dive deeper! 😉

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Ironically this Bullet is hit or miss, and it has nothing to do with aim. CalExotics' Bullet is pretty great when it works, but getting it to work seems almost as fickle as getting the Blush Lipstick to work. The device is remote controlled, each device requiring a AAA to work, and features 12 settings (mix of vibrations and patterns). Unlike Iroha, CalExotics was not kind enough to include any batteries, so make sure you have some on hand. The Bullet can be fully inserted in either desired entry point and can be easily retrieved with the cord attached to the one end. The device is almost silent to others once inserted which could make it interesting for public use. The remote allows for easy use on your own or with a partner as it can be used up to 32.75 ft (10m) away. No IPX rating given, but it does claim to be usable in and out of water. No use time is given for this device, and given the weird events during testing I'm not even sure how to guess at a proper length so 60 minutes was my overall guesstimate. Can be a great toy for first time users, and can be fun for public/private partner play.

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This Toy Might Be Too Good! 😉 Ever picked up a toy and immediately thought, "Damn, this feels expensive"? That’s the Njoy Pure Wand. This thing is sleek, shiny, and heavy - like, "don’t drop it unless you want a permanent reminder on your bathroom floor" heavy. 😂 But once you figure out how to handle it, oh boy, it’s a game-changer. Perfect for both G-spot and P-spot play, this toy is all about deep, targeted pleasure. It doesn’t vibrate, it doesn’t have fancy buttons - just pure, manual control. And honestly? That’s what makes it so great. The weight does half the work for you, and once you get the hang of it, it’s like unlocking a new level of pleasure. Is it beginner-friendly? Ehh, maybe not. It takes a bit of technique and patience. But if you’re up for the challenge, this could easily become your new favorite toy. We’ve had it for ages, and it still looks brand new - zero wear and tear. So, if you’re looking for a high-quality, no-nonsense pleasure tool that’ll last forever, this is the one.

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For 19 dollars, I thought this toy packed quite the punch! The Doc Johnson Velvet Touch Vibe probably has one of the most unique designs I've seen- instead of a remote or button, you simply twist the dial to your desired speed. This does make the toy require 2 hands to use, but I personally didn't have any issue with this. It's powered by 2 AA batteries (sold separately). At first, I was a little bit confused as to how it works; it doesn't seem to come with any kind of manual or instructions. But, once I got the batteries in correctly, I turned the dial and was surprised by how intense the "low" speed seemed! The volume of the toy was pretty consistent between all of the vibration speeds. It's not exactly as quiet as the Amazon listing says it is, but it's pretty quiet if you use it under a blanket. I'm usually someone that highly prefers manual stimulation over toys, but this vibe might have proved me wrong. It's made for both external and internal stimulation, which I thought was a nice detail! Many vibrators explicitly state that they aren't designed for insertion, so this was a pleasant surprise. It's bigger than the bullet vibrators I usually prefer, but it's actually pretty good for precise stimulation. The only downside to that is that since this toy is quite large, it's probably not very travel-friendly.

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The We-Vibe Chorus—and its pressure-sensitive remote (yes, you read that right! Just give it a squeeze to amp up the vibrations)—gets a gold star from me for delivering hands-free, blended orgasms during sex with my partner. Personally, I don’t orgasm easily from internal stimulation alone, let alone from intercourse, but the Chorus makes the whole experience way more enjoyable (wink if you know what I mean). After plenty of testing, we’ve found that this vibe shines best with a grinding motion rather than thrusting, making it a top-tier lovemaking toy in my book. Flying solo? No problem! Tuck it into snug underwear for a hands-free thrill, or pair it with a dildo for an added layer of sensation. Bonus tip: The remote-controlled feature makes it perfect for some sneaky play—whether you’re at home or feeling adventurous out and about. The charging/carry case that it comes with is also a splendid idea as it is discreet and keeps all dust off the toy and remote. Edit: we tried to use it late last night and it was confusing. Maybe keep it for a sober encounter.

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The Cancer Mini Vibe, and the whole Zodiac Collection from Our Erotic Journey, is an absolute vibe. You’re supposed to order the toy that aligns with your zodiac sign. Each is different, palm-sized, and based on the symbol of that zodiac. My verdict as a sex toy: it’s cute, and I felt adorable using it. Overall, it’s a really fun alternative to your standard bullet vibrator, but it is basically just a cute bullet vibrator. The toy has 10 vibration modes, is around 2.5” wide, and is shaped like a little cartoon crab. My verdict on the toy’s vibe: brilliant! The box is designed to look like a tarot card deck, and included with the toy is a crisply designed card describing your zodiac’s sexual style and compatibility. The packaging of this toy and its presentation made me enjoy it more. Because it has such a vibe, it stands out. The legs and eyes of the crab add dimension to the toy, making it much more interesting than similar vibrators.

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Not entirely sure how this one got its name or how to make a pun of it. I think I'm going have to write my first non pun filled review right now... *shudder* It's very weird to say since I'm still somewhat of a newcomer myself, but I think this would be a good first time personal massager for someone that doesn't want to commit to getting a dildo just yet but wants a nice somewhat inconspicuous toy. It definitely feels nice as a regular massager, and is quite intense as a clitoral stimulator and with 20 patterns, 8 intensities, a 90-120 min use time and a memory retention feature you can't really go wrong.

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Haptics wise, BO6 Zombies is unfortunately NOT kinky... :c. Jump scare, throw your controller across the room, or move it around like it has any sway on your character's movements wise... BO6 Zombies can be... erratically kinky. XD The Motorbunny G-Thing is just like any other bulb vibe out there but(t) with a fun gaming twist! This bulb vibe can not only be controlled the typical way. but with an app or with the help of the Motorbunny Playmate and a controller! The G-thing has 9 settings (3 vibes and 6 patterns), a use time of around 4 hours, 3 ways to control it, and an IPX7 rating! The app consists of 10 classic games with sensually punny names, and a remote control menu that allows you to raise and lower the intensity, doodle yourself a new pattern, have your favorite song rock your world, or have someone join the room and do any of those for you! The Playmate is a device that features an accelerometer that enables tilting actions to control the vibrations of the toy, it also claims to react to in-game haptics but that feature is sadly subpar at this point in time. If you want a toy that's reliable and goes well with your idle fidgeting, this is it!

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Bear with me for a moment, I know this statement is going to be a bit weird, but it's the most accurate description I feel I could use at the moment.... The Motorbunny G2G brought an orgasm and fantasy on that was a culmination of all of the hottest, flirty, fun, juvenile dry hump sessions I've ever experienced. I'm honestly a bit upset I didn't have someone around to nibble, tease, and play with while I tested it, but I came away blushing, gushing and feeling like I did anyway. Combine that with the fact that I can also sit around and play classic games with dirty punny names for shiggles and get off while doing so and you have one hell of a happy camper! That aside, the Motorbunny G2G has 9 settings (3 vibes and 6 patterns), a use time of around 4 hours, 3 ways to interact with it (itself, an app, and the Playmate adapter), an IPX7 rating, and comes with 3 different colored magnets to customize its look. The app consists of 10 classic games with sensually punny names, and a remote control menu that allows you to raise and lower the intensity, doodle yourself a new pattern, have your favorite song rock your world, or have someone join the room and do any of those for you! The Playmate is a device that features an accelerometer that enables tilting actions to control the vibrations of the toy, it also claims to react to in-game haptics but that feature is sadly subpar at this point in time. Just know, if you're into a little bump and grind type of session, this is definitely a good toy for it! ;P

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This adorable almost Hershey Kiss shaped device will have you melting! Talk about a toy with an honor roll.... no need for D's, C's or long wait times by the charger, it's AAAs for days! The Ume-Anzu's small stature and inconspicuous design allows it to hide in a make-up bag, purse, or even a pocket with ease or be left out in the open without a care in the world. Iroha was oh so kind enough to include a AAA battery in the product so it can be used the moment it's opened, talk about an awesome company that cares! They even made the device waterproof, allowing that bath time vibe to be even more relaxing! It's a single setting consistent vibration with an intensity that may surprise you, and with its durable design there's no need to fear it being finnicky when you're in the middle of your groove. The estimated time of use is 5 hours on a single battery so this little buddy can go as long or as many times as you can handle! This discreet, simple to use, easy to hide, long lasting toy is definitely a great one for first time users and is a good one to just have for a quick fun time!

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The Couple’s Vibrator That Sounded Exciting—But Left Us Frustrated When it comes to couple’s vibrators, I always think of the We-Vibe. We never actually owned one, but reading about it made us curious about this kind of toy. The idea of something that could bring extra stimulation for both partners during penetration sounded awesome. So, when we saw the Satisfyer Double Fun as a free promo gift, we figured, ‘Why not?’ Free sex toys are the best kind of sex toys, right? Worst case, we’d have some fun experimenting. Spoiler alert: We did not have fun. 🫠 On paper, it checks all the boxes—flexible U-shape, strong vibrations, app control, waterproof. But in reality? It felt more like a third wheel than a sexy enhancement. We gave it multiple tries, hoping it would grow on us. At the end, we just never clicked with it. After about 10 tries, it found its final resting place in our bedside drawer, untouched and collecting dust. So, what went wrong? Let’s get into it. 😉

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Wow! The Lelo Sona Sonic Clitoral Massager is a gorgeous toy—it comes in a range of colors, though my favorite is black with gold trim and a beautiful curve accented by glimmering metal and sleek silicone. The buttons are interestingly on the bottom of the toy but made accessible by the gracious curve of its handle. The intensity changes by holding the button down while the toy automatically increases or decreases strength, an odd feature, but I got used to it very quickly. The air pulsing technology is smooth and well-contained within the rim of the suction head. My only complaint is that the head is on the smaller side. This only means that the toy is targeted, giving you more precision in your pleasure. The packing and presentation of the toy feel sexy. It’s like being handed a VIP invitation. There’s something mysterious and sleek about it. Overall, this is a fantastic toy, delivers incredible orgasms, and looks good while doing it.

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The initial thought of a hyper realistic looking vibrator was somewhat chilling and kind of off putting. Looking at a product like Utimi's Heavenly had me absolutely terrified to the point that it ended up becoming laughable lol. I feel even Utimi knows it's a scary thing because they chose not to show the real vibrations in their video for it but rather some Microsoft PowerPoint style animations. ><' That being said, Utimit's Lavender is surprisingly far more acceptable to me than I could have ever imagined. Please do me a favor and go check out the site's video for this product as I don't know why but the music choice and everything about it had me rolling while I was trying to find a few more details to put in this review, it's beautiful lol. Well done to that editing team lol. In all seriousness though, I oddly found that the realism of this product satiated a weird fantasy craving that I didn't know was buried in the back of my mind. Utimi's designers must know a thing or two about color theory and how Lavender affects feelings and responses, as it definitely made this product 1000000% more acceptable than the genuine hyper realistic colors and textures of their Heavenly product. Of all the thrusting devices I currently own, I believe that this one is the best and on full charge the vibration settings are quite lovely. I would recommend this as a good first time dildo for someone that's wants a bit of help in the self sparked fantasy department or just enjoys an actual dick now and then.

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For those who enjoy anal stimulation, this plug is definitely an option to consider. The Hello Cake Buzzy Butt vibrating butt plug is made of body-safe silicone, and has a long T-shaped base, so it's quite easy to insert and pull out, the base also ensures there's no fear of the toy being sucked in too far. Hello Cake states that the toy can be used for both beginners and those with more experience, but I feel like it's a bit large for a beginner. Just like the company states, it's "not too small, not too big". It's also a bit long, reviewers mention that because of its length, it can stimulate the prostate quite easily. As a transgender man, I still enjoy the toy a lot! The toy is waterproof, so you can wear it practically anywhere. The toy does fit a bit snugly, hence why I don't see it as beginner friendly, but the T-shaped base definitely helps with this a lot. This toy can be ordered on the Hello Cake website, Amazon, or even in physical stores. To reach a full charge, the toy must charge for 120 minutes. When fully charged, it can be used for up to an hour on low vibrating speed, or around 45 minutes on higher speeds.

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Call me old fashioned but, when I wanna cum, I dont wanna have to look at a manual, assemble the device, connect to an app, charge for four hours, Just give me a hole to stick my dick in and call it a day.

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